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VIDEO LINK!
VS Rasetsu - Boss Battle Part One
Google Version!
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[Ogami]
Er, look, I know that you guys risked life and limb to break me out of that prison, so I feel kind of bad about asking this, but... what the hell took you guys so long?
[Maria]
You're a horrible liar, Captain.
[Ogami]
Alright, fine, I don't feel bad about asking this, because I beat the pants off of that trap before you guys could get that gate open! I think I'm entitled to an explanation!!
[Maria]
Yes, when you put it that way, Captain, I DO suppose that you're entitled to an explanation.
[Ogami]
THANK you. Now--
[Maria]
-- so, Captain, would you like to speak with whoever's in charge of this brigade and ask him or her why their direction was so sloppy?
[Ogami]
Wait, aren't I the one in charge of the Flower Division?
[Maria]
During that last battle, it might as well have been in name only, because you did not issue a single command to any of us.
[Ogami]
I was fighting for my life!! Besides, I issued that one strategy at the beginning of the fight, didn't I!?
[Maria]
Captain, yelling 'MOUNTAIN!' at the top of your lungs doesn't count as giving orders.
[Ogami]
Well, it should! And--
[Ayame]
*Bwip*
[Ayame]
Ogami-kun. Come in, Ogami-kun. Do you read me?
[Ogami]
I swear that I've never read you before in my life, Ayame-san, but just tell me which page to start from and I'll gladly play it by ear.
[Ayame]
... cute, Ogami-kun. Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you on a job well done.
[Ayame]
I've never seen the Flower Division more efficient than it was this battle. Whatever it is you're doing, keep it up!
[Ayame]
*Bwip*
[Ogami]
...
[Maria]
Congratulations, Captain. I rescind my previous complaints.
[Ogami]
But I didn't DO anything!!
[Maria]
I think that may have been the point, Captain. You appear to have stumbled upon a winning formula.
[Ogami]
... well, whatever works! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be dumping the responsibility of Japan's salvation in your hands and going home.
[Maria]
Ha ha ha. You do that, and I'll put Iris in charge of the Flower Division.
[Ogami]
You wouldn't.
[Maria]
Try me.
[Ogami]
On hindsight, I suppose that my heroic presence is required here.
[Maria]
Yes, whatever would we do without your periodic cries of horror and mortification, Captain?
[Ogami]
You're really on a roll today, aren't you.
[Maria]
It's all thanks to you, Captain. You've helped me keep my tongue mind sharper than ever before.
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[Kanna]
Oh, hey, it's Rasetsu! Long time no see!
[Rasetsu]
... what?
[Sumire]
Is it not said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, Kanna-san? We should be thankful that Rasetsu showed up at all!
[Kohran]
Ya forgot t' write, ya big bum! How's it goin'?
[Rasetsu]
What the hell are you talking about?
[Kohran]
Ya didn't actually show up to the battle for so long that we'd almost forgotten yer face, y'know.
[Sumire]
Honestly, what in the world could take precedence over shooting us in the back while we fight, for crying out loud?
[Rasetsu]
... um... you ladies wouldn't understand. It's a demon thing.
[Kanna]
....
[Kanna]
What does gender have to do with anything?
[Sumire]
That, I am certain, is an insult to female demons everywhere.
[Rasetsu]
Er, no, I didn't mean it like that! I mean, most of my best friends are probably women if I tilt my head to the side and squint real hard. ... look, could you guys give me a little time? I have to summon my giant robot now.
[Kohran]
Sure, go for it. What'd be th' harm in THAT?
[Maria]
... has ANYONE ELSE ever considered attacking the demon while he's summoning his giant robot?
[Kohran]
First o' all, it's common courtesy, 'cause he ain't shootin' at US while WE'RE posin' before every battle. Secondly--
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[Kohran]
... d'you honestly think that you can shoot through THAT?
[Maria]
I could have.
[Kohran]
Right, right, I forgot 'bout that whole "superhuman sniping powers" thing.
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Demon-Driven Mechanical Soldier: GINKAKU
[Iris]
Understood!!
Finally, the team's all together.
... it's like having all the colors of the rainbow, right there in your PS2 controller.
Currently, Iris is the weakest link in the team. I figure that I should keep her from getting sandblasted by Rasetsu, who 1) has a full spirit gauge, meaning that he can unleash his final right off the bat, and 2) will unleash everything he's got in the first turn.
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[Ogami]
Wolf-Tiger Destroyer, Problem Solvin' Blade!
[Sakura]
Haven't you ever wondered WHY all of these attack names are so tediously LONG, Ogami-san?
[Ogami]
... I'd rather not hear that from YOU, Ms. Destroyer of Evil's Conquering Sword, Cherry Blossom's Divine Release.
[Sumire]
She DOES have a point. I myself am beginning to wonder if the enemy will ever cut us off while we're executing our attacks...
[Kohran]
Ain't possible. All o' those Wakiji're programmed t' keep an eye out for DRAMA, an' they'll stand back an' let us do our thing. And besides--
[Maria]
Let me guess: it's common courtesy?
[Kohran]
Bingo. Japan's got th' most well-organized battles in th' history of mankind. Its rules of engagement are th' most polite in th' world!
[Ogami]
... and this extends to demons as well?
[Kohran]
Technic'lly, no. But they're Japanese demons, so I guess they got some kinda national pride, too!
[Ogami]
But they're trying to DESTROY Japan.
[Kohran]
Hah, yeah. Funny how th' world works, don't it?
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Ginkaku is tougher to crack than a casino vault, so this'll be a pretty long fight.
All there really is to do, as usual...
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... is to slug it out with the boss until he drops.
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I still can't believe that Sakura's final attack had INFINITE RANGE in the original game. 
It's still broken enough as it is.
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Not shown are the two violently detonated Wakiji.
With infinite range, you could mop up most of a STAGE with that level of power.
I send Sakura down to deal with the remaining small fry. Besides, it's generally a horrible idea to mass all of your units in front of the boss, since the bosses in this game tend to be trigger-happy with their final attacks.
And since they're getting pounded on the entire time, their spirit bar shoots up like mad, so they can hammer you again and again. This isn't TOO much of a problem in this game- the difficulty level isn't anything that'll make you tear your hair out.
Fun fact: the game has two difficulty settings: normal and hard. Normal is what I've been doing up through this chapter (and it's painfully easy at times). Hard mode is also fine throughout the earlier chapters, but at a certain chapter in the game (and without any warning), the boss suddenly becomes able to obliterate 3/4ths of your team in one turn, occasionally before most of the members can actually act.
This is why I'm going normal mode; this game is going to take long enough as it is, and I don't particularly want to complicate matters by having to redo the battle phases after getting tanked half an hour in.
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[Sumire]
...
[Sakura]
Hmm? What's the matter?
[Sumire]
I've been meaning to bring this up, but... why do you keep bowing to Wakiji?
[Sakura]
It's common courtesy!
[Maria]
I think we have officially worn out any meaning that the phrase might have had.
[Sakura]
But it's to show that I have respect for my opponent's sword-wielding skill!
[Sumire]
I'm not entirely sure if you have noticed, Sakura-san, but that Wakiji isn't actually wielding a sword.
[Sakura]
Okay, to put it another way, I'm thanking it for leaving the sharp, potentially painful cutting implement at home and bringing a wholly ineffective fireworks launcher instead.
[Sumire]
But... the explosions?
[Sakura]
They aren't that bad, compared to that time I accidentally slipped--
[Sumire]
-- and decimated the entire stage--
[Sakura]
-- or to what Kohran usually does.
[Kohran]
Right, right, let's get back t' battle now, shall we?
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The commander looked over his milling soldiers, his heart swelling with pride at the sight of so many gleaming metallic bodies. "We don't have much time before we're set to launch, men, so I want you to listen closely. I've just got a few more things I want to say to you today, and that'll be that," he growled.
"This is the day that you've all been waiting for," the commander continued, hovering back and forth in front of the assembled chibi-robo army. "Everything you've been put through has all been leading up to this one moment. Everything that you've been taught has been for the sake of thi--"
The commander paused, staring at one of his soldiers.
"What in Kohran's name do you think you're doing in that corner, Jenkins?" the commander asked, his voice dangerously calm. "If you think that you can excuse yourself from this battle on account of cowardice, you are sorely mistaken, soldier! I--"
"Why do you keep saying the same things over and over again, Sarge!?" Jenkins suddenly exclaimed, looking up with wild, tear-filled eyes. "Don't you see it? We've done this before! We've ALL done this before!! The Mistress... Mistress Kohran... she sends us out! She always sends us out!!"
The commander nearly bit through his cigar. "My God, man, pull yourself together!" he snarled, closing the distance between him and Jenkins in a flash. "I'll not have you going crazy before we... we..." He paused, suddenly unsure of himself. Bits and pieces of memory floated through his mind, bringing with them a strange sense of deja-vu, and--
[Kohran]
San! Er! Yi! ...
He shook his head, clacking his pincers nervously. "We don't have time for this bullshit!" The commander raised his voice above Jenkin's increasingly desperate wails. "Men! Look sharp, we're deploying in half a second! The Mistress expects great things of us! We will fight for--"
"She's going to kill us all!!" Jenkins screamed. "She's going to--"
Above them, the cannons thundered.
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[Kohran]
Chibi-Robo Army! Kill yourselves!
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As the soldiers around him screamed and began detonating en masse, the commander's last thoughts were Son of a bitch, Jenkins was--
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And then he knew no more.... at least, until the next battle.
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Wakiji's turn! Sakura takes one for the team.
'Course, no matter HOW cool the cannon-Wakiji's attacks look...
It really DOES do an abysmal amount of damage.
Also, I'd completely failed to notice that there were also Wakiji BEHIND the Flower Division, waiting outside the gates.
They have an annoying tendency to go for the units who are slower than molasses haven't gone yet.
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Not that that actually makes a difference. But it COULD.
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... takes clean-up duty. With that range, she wouldn't have to move around too much when it's time to have her target Rasetsu himself.
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[Maria]
Aaah... nothing is ever as effective as spirit-infused bullets the size of a child's head.
[Ogami]
WHO'S spirits?
[Maria]
Excuse me, Captain?
[Ogami]
It... it isn't a blond thing, is it? All blond people don't have the ability to tear the souls out of others, right?
[Maria]
Captain, what in the world are you talking about?
[Ogami]
I... sorry, sorry. I'm just a little bit on edge, what with a mind-crushing ten-year-old French girl's teddy bear having eaten part of my soul and all.
[Maria]
... I'm sure that won't cripple your day-to-day life to any great extent, Captain "My Body Is Moving On Its Own Towards The Bath."
[Ogami]
That's just below the belt, and you know it.
[Maria]
... exactly.
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[Ogami]
I can attest to that. Her ability to cut me down has become the stuff of legends.
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Just enough gas in the tank blocs on the action bar to unleash some Snow Maiden on the boss.
It's interesting how you can gauge how much a character likes Ogami by the amount of damage she does. 
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Aaaand I completely miscalculated Rasetsu's final attack radius, which- since it hits Kanna, Sakura, and Ogami- renders Ogami's Protecting of Iris utterly useless.
"Here's a souvenir from the underworld!"
"Rumbling! Exploding Brilliance!!"
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Despite its awesome appearance, Rasetsu's attack does crap damage. That's not the worst part of Ginkaku's final attack, however...
It's poison, which severely shortens an afflicted unit's action phase.
(Also as usual, Ogami can't tank with balls.)
The boss, like the normal characters, can charge up its own spirit energy gauge, which allows it to whip out final attacks pretty quickly. Given how potentially crippling his final attack is...
Thankfully, its NORMAL attack radius allows me to justify Protecting Iris.
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Ginkaku's specialty is "hitting things so hard that they explode in a burst of light."
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Despite the fact that she takes her sweet time...
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Sumire finally, FINALLY has her moment in her sun, with her special attack:
... poison. HOW THE TABLES ARE TURNED, YOU ROCKY BASTARD.
... 's turn.
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[Ogami]
Oooh! Iris, you have a special attack, too!?
[Iris]
Yup! You'll like this one, Oniichan!
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[Ogami]
... why are you targeting US, Iris?
[Iris]
Your Koubu have been poisoned really badly. Iris can feel it!
[Ogami]
Poisoned!? ... Kohran, is that even possible?
[Kohran]
... well, not as such, Ogami-han, but I think something's wrong with 'em; th' engine's gotten kinda jammed from that last attack--
[Iris]
Exactly! See, Iris will help!
[Iris]
... Iris can put you out of your misery.
[Ogami]
Oh god SOMEONE STOP HER! Quick, before--
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"I'll make all that hurt and pain--"
"-- fly away!"
"Iris..."
"MARIONETTE!!"
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[Kohran]
What in th' world? That's Jean-Paul, ain't it? That's adorable!
[Kanna]
Oh, hey, well-done, Iris! Hah, I can feel my Koubu gettin' stronger alrea--
[Kanna]
...
[Sumire]
Kanna-san? What's the matter? Is--
[Sumire]
...
[Ogami]
Kanna? Sumire!? Kohran, what's wrong with--
[Kohran]
...
[Ogami]
What the hell's going on? That--
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[Ogami]
Iris? Iris, what's going on?
[Iris]
Don't worry, Oniichan, just let Jean-Paul touch your Koubu and everything'll be alright!
[???]
(I think I shall return that part of your soul now.)
[Ogami]
Aaaaactually, I change my mind! I don't need to be he---
"... ris..."
"I... ... urts..."
"H... ... ... ... p... y..."
"... ... argh... yaargh..."
"--IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS--"
"IT HURTS... IRIS... DON'T..."
"... MY BODY... GIVE BACK MY BODY..."
"I FEEL... HAPPY... H... A... P... P... Y..."
"FR... IENDS..."
"IRIS... IRIS... IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS..."
"ARGH... YARGH..."
"NO... DON'T..."
"HELP ME... PLEASE... HELP ME..."
"SHE'LL GET YOU TOO... RUN... RUN... RUN..."
"IRIS... IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS..."
"CHANGING... EVERYTHING IS CHANGI[/b]NG..."
"ICHIRO OGAMI... IRIS... IRIS... I--"
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[Iris]
There! Everyone's healed. And no more poison!
[Ogami]
Th... thanks? Iris...
[Kanna]
...
[Sumire]
...
[Kohran]
...
[Ogami]
Can you, uh, fix them back up mentally now?
[Iris]
Eeeeeh? Killjoy.
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[Iris]
Look, look~! Isn't it cute?
Iris put this ribbon on, herself!
[Ogami]
Heh....
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Sadly, Ogami didn't quite have his wits back yet.
[Ogami]
It's... it's a cute Koubu, huh.
[Iris]
Hm... Oniichan, you don't really think it's cute, do you!
[Ogami]
Ah, no....
[Iris]
I don't know you, Oniichan! Bleeeeeh!!
[Ogami]
S, sorry... Iris...
[Iris]
... ah, that's right! Iris's Koubu can teleport!
Also, healing everyone's wounds is my specialty!!
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[i][Ogami]
Next time, could you tell us these things BEFORE you mentally scar half the Flower Division?
[i][Iris]
Eeeeh!? None of you are any fun.
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[Ogami]
I see... in that case, when my Koubu gets damaged, I wonder if I can ask you to heal it, Iris.
[Iris]
Yup! Leave it to Iris!!
Ogami's turn rolls around again, which means a quick Protect swap...
After THAT little stint, Iris isn't getting no Protect anymore. 
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The systematic dismantling of Ginkaku continues. Nine minutes into the fight, and we've got him down to half health!
... and I'd completely forgotten to heal Sakura. Ha, ha, ha.
Fun fact: the characters' expressions change depending on their status in battle.
Right now, Sakura's expression says: dammit, I'm hosed, someone heal me nao.
NEXT TIME: Boss End!
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