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[Maria]
Look, this is all well and good--
[Ogami]
The 'docks-are-on-fire' part or the 'me-rescuing-you-from-turning-into-a-maiden-in-distress' part?
[Maria]
.... this is all well and good, but my Koubu's back on the docks. How in the world am I to join the battle?
[Ogami]
Um.
[Ayame]
Not a problem- I picked up your unit using the Shogeimaru. Move fifty paces to the right- no, Ogami, your OTHER right- and you'll find it.
[Maria]
I'm afraid I don't quite understand. This is simply where the shell hit the compound in a way that managed to avoid turning us into blood pudding.
[Ayame]
Look closer.
[Maria]
Wait, that's not a shell, tha-- ... oh.
[Maria]
You fired my mecha from your blimp.
[Ayame]
You can thank me later. Now--
[Maria]
You fired my mecha from your blimp.
[Ogami]
Oh god. She's going spare. I TOLD you she was going to go spare.
[Maria]
You fired my mecha from your blimp.
[Ayame]
Hurry up and get into your Koubu, Ogami-kun. You've got a brigade to lead, a demon to kill, and an incredible amount of indiscriminately fired pistol shots to avoid.
[Ogami]
Yes'm.
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VIDEO!
Google Version!
Youtube Version!
"The Vice-Commander's gambit was certainly unusual- after all, who in their right mind would dare risk shooting a costly and often stubborn piece of equipment from a cannon? Regardless, it got the task done admirably well, allowing Tachibana to get insider her Koubu without needing to first board the Shogeimaru.
"Of course, absolutely no one was able to predict that firing steam-powered spirit armor from cannons (occasionally with the pilot still in them) would catch on in other parts of the world, eventually becoming common practice in parts of Europe and Asia. No matter what the language, the name of this practice remained constant as a tribute to the circumstances of its first occurence: Russian Roulette.
In the words of the then-Captain, Ichiro Ogami, 'after the pilot's unit hits the ground, you'll need to open it up to determine if the pilot's alive, dead, or trying to shoot at you in a homocidal rage.'"
- Excerpt from the 1977 edition of "Samurai Spirits: The History of the Flower Division," written by M. Sunnyside.
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[Setsuna]
Do you rabble honestly think that you can defeat ME!? I'll turn the tables on you!!
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It's difficult to show this in just screenshots, but...
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The sunnovagun's jumping all over the place like some kind of hyped-up crackmonkey.
[Ayame]
It seems that the only feasible way to damage him would be to try and anticipate his movements.
[Everyone]
Understood!!
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[Kohran]
So... it'll be jes' like shootin' fish in a barrel.
[Sumire]
... do you mean that... you think this will be easy?
[Kohran]
Hahaha, not at all! I mean, you haven't tried t' shoot fish outfitted with steam-powered teleportation devices.
[Sumire]
...
[Kohran]
Granted, they've got a thirty percent chance t' NOT be separated from their innards, but that jes' makes th' shootin' more challengin'!
[Sumire]
You've invented a teleportation device?
[Kohran]
Yeah! It took me close t' an infinite number of tries after blowin' holes in the time stream an' waitin' fer the universe t' start all over again, but I managed to get it done with a minimum of paradox!
[Sumire]
... why?
[Kohran]
Eh, jes' tryin' to play God personal project.
[Sumire]
I can see your crossed-out words, you know.
[Kohran]
That? That's jes' a speech impediment. YA GOT SOME PRETTY NOOKS AND CRANNIES THERE, GIRL
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Ogami and Maria are side-by-side; the other Koubu are in the corner to his right.
Tactics, as usual, are going to be pretty simple. I'll just mountain things up a little bit...
... and then unleash the floodgates of horrific violence.
After he chats with us a bit.
[Ogami]
Someone like you- someone who can't even trust in other people- will never be able to understand!
[Setsuna]
Haaaah ha ha ha! Trust? That woman deceived all of you! Even after that, can you even trust her!?
[Ogami]
........
[Ogami]
I trust her!! No matter what happens... I will believe in Maria!
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[Maria]
Captain, you're...
[Ogami]
Because... well, I mean, compared to everyone ELSE in this mental asylum of a brigade, Maria's as innocent as a lettuce sammich!
[Maria]
... a horrible excuse for a human being, and I hope you rot in a Hell bereft of sandwiches.
[Ogami]
What? That was supposed to be a compliment. You've shot me in the stomach more times than I can count, but you've only mentally scarred me once.
[Maria]
So far.
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[Setsuna]
Ghh....
[Ogami]
Now... I won't exchange words with you any longer! We will end this here and now!!
Gosh Ogami, you're looking kinda cool.
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Of course...
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There IS something to be said--
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-- about protectors of justice ganging up six-to-one on some poor sod.
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[Ogami]
.... eh?
[Maria]
My Life Is In Your Hands.
[Ogami]
Maria, are you feeling alright?
[Maria]
I Have Never Felt Better.
[Ogami]
What happened to the whole... me being a dick? Or your pledging to shoot my head off for not being able to stop Ayame from blasting your mecha out a cannon? I--
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[Ogami]
... wait. No. What. You're blushing. That's not physically possible.
[Maria]
Everything Is Clear Now. We Must Become One.
[Ogami]
Wait, what? Don't I get a say in this!?
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[Ogami]
Why're you walking towards me like that!? Wh-what are you going to do!?
[Maria]
It Will Be Over In A Moment. Our Souls Shall Intertwine In An Instant Of Eternal Rapture.
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[Kanna]
Captain, what the hell is Maria doing? And how's she speakin' with those capital letters?
[Ogami]
I don't know!!!! It's not my fault!!!!
[Kanna]
Calm down, Captain, your exclamation points are goin' haywire.
[Ogami]
I need an adult!!!!
[Kohran]
'Sup?
[Ogami]
NO!!!!!!!!! NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE BUT--
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[Kohran]
Whoops, too late, there go th' forbidden glyphs of some kinda spirit energy devourin' monstrosity summoned by yer brains.
[Ogami]
G Y A A A A A A H - -
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Let The Ogami x Maria Final Combination Attack Begin.
"Maria."
"Captain."
"Я вас..."
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[Setsuna]
... what? Is that it? A more in-depth look into the mating rituals of human beings than I'd ever wanted to see in my life?
[Sumire]
I would duck if I were you.
[Setsuna]
Why? What's--
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[Setsuna]
AAAAAGH! OH GOD! IT BURNS! IT BURNS AND STINGS!!
[Ogami]
.....
[Maria]
.....
[Ogami]
Did... did we just commit some act of spiritual hanky-panky on a higher plane of existence?
[Maria]
..... I'm not entirely sure.
[Ogami]
I see.
[Maria]
....
[Ogami]
....
[Maria]
Ensign.
[Ogami]
Yes?
[Maria]
Was it... was it as good for you as it was for me?
[Ogami]
ALRIGHT, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED.
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NEXT TIME: The Morning After. Also, Violence.
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