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---------
VIDEO!

The second half of the battle!

Google Version! It won't work no matter how many times I reupload it. I'll figure something out later. For now--
Youtube Version is go!

"Recent excavations of the base of operations used by the infamous Hive of Darkness have revealed a startling number of long-lost artifacts and ancient documents, most of which have deteriorated beyond legibility.

"The most startling discovery has been a copy of what historians believe was Pale-Blue Setsuna's contract. Intriguingly enough, it appears that Tenkai merely paid him by the hour, which would explain the numerous discrepancies apparent in the government's report of the battle of Tsukiji (for instance, the fact that Setsuna had simply stood around for twenty minutes while the Flower Division chatted idly amongst themselves)."


- Excerpt from the "Imperial Capital Times," dated back to May 14th, 1973.
---------



[Kohran]

Heheh~n! Let's keep on truckin'!







And, after Sakura uses her Koubu to effortlessly push a barrel weighing as much as her OWN Koubu onto a ginourmous switch, there's our bridge to the boss. Sweet!



----
[Ayame]

Ensign Ogami, your text is leaking out of your dialogue box again.

[Ogami]

Ah, whoops. Yessir, I'll be more careful in the futu-

[Ogami]

... w-wait. You can see the dialogue window too? HOW?!

[Ayame]

Ufufu... that's classified information.
----



Better make sure that Sakura's health doesn't fall into dangerous straits.



...

Good god, why does Sakura attract so much incoming fire?



Watch out, Kanna, it's sneaking up on--



OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. It's almost as if these Wakiji are able to pick up on Sakura's stalker aura, thus determining her to be the greatest threat.



Weeeeell. It's not like I actually need to SAVE UP their spirit gauge- this is the second-to-last Wakiji on the field.


----


Now to sit back, relax, and listen to everyone talk to Kanna.



[Maria]

That's true... how are you doing? Have your arms weakened at all?

[Kanna]

Heheheh, just leave it to me. These kinds of guys are like scraps of paper compared to me.

[Maria]

Hmhmhm... when you say that, Kanna, it doesn't sound at all like a lie. We're relying on you.

[Kanna]

Aah, of course! Maria... let's end this battle!!

[Maria]

Understood!

Interestingly enough, we've got an event this turn.



... an event as inescapable as Iris's overwhelming, all-seeing presence.

[Ogami]

Eek?! E, even if you say something like that...



W-wait a second.

Chapter One posted:


What in the world happened to THAT?!


----


Yeah, I'm SURE there'll be no problem with airlifting a nine-year-old girl into a battlefield dominated by mecha.



So... no.

[Ogami]

Be a good girl and stay patient, okay? Do you understand, Iris?

That's right, Ogami, put your foot down like a real man. No more being Iris's boy toy.



And thus began the most asinine conversation you'll ever see in this game.

[Ogami]

Eek?! B, but.... we're in the middle of battle, and....

[Iris]

No... I want to play with you, Oniichan---!

[Ogami]

O... okay. We'll hurry and finish this fight, and then come straight home... okay?

[Iris]

"Come straight home"... what time?

[Ogami]

N, no, well... straight home means straight home. Just a bit longer, okay?

[Iris]

Okay... that's a promise. When you get back, play with Iris.

[Ogami]

Aah, I promise. Right then, I'm going back to the battle, so...

[Iris]

Yup! Oniichan, do your best!!

...

There you have it, folks: that's our wonderfully courageous hero, the man who champions justice and gets pushed around by a nine-year-old demonspawn antichrist girl.

----
[Iris]

Are you done yet?

[Ogami]

Not yet, Iris.

[Iris]

Are you done yet NOW?

[Ogami]

... y-you've been asking the same thing every thirty seconds, Iris, now will you just--

[Iris]

Are you done yeeeeeet?

[Ogami]

NO.

[Iris]

...

[Ogami]

*BZZT* ALL UNITS RETREAT. WE'RE GOING HOME SO THAT ONIICHAN CAN PLAY WITH IRIS.
----



[Ogami]

You look like you've having fun, Kanna. But... negligence is our greatest enemy.

[Kanna]

I know, I know! Just who do you think I am? I'm the successor to the Kirishima school of Ryukyu Karate!
I can beat these kinds of enemies to a bloody pulp all by myself!

... she's got you there, man.

[Ogami]

I suppose...



You know, all one of them.

[Kanna]

Heheheh! I know, I know. Let's have some fun with 'em together!!
These fists of mine, trained by my father... this is the time to use 'em.
I'll tear into them in one go and kick all their asses!
Captain! Sitting in the back doesn't fit me at all. Let me fight from the front lines, alright!!

[Ogami]

Got it! Go in and knock them all down for us!!

Kanna is, of course, all too willing to comply.


----

----

----

----


Everyone was impressed by Kanna's display of strength and skill!



... maybe a little TOO impressed.

[Kanna]

But... I'm tellin' you, I'm a woman.

[Kohran]

That's right, that's right. But ya know... if you were a man, Kanna-han...
It's jes' that you'd make a great subject for a laboratory experiment.

...

She's not even trying to hide it anymore.

[Kanna]

A... a laboratory experiment subject?!

[Kohran]

Welp... it can't be helped, so I guess I'll jes' stick with experiments on Ogami-han.

[Kanna]

I, I'll just leave that to you, then.... ahahahahaha... so, uh, I'll just be going back to the fight now.

----
[Kohran]

But if ya ever find yourself wantin' a metal jaw or a pair of boob missiles--

[Kanna]

Haha, no, seriously, I'M FINE.
----

I'm guessing that Kanna's impression of the new recruits have taken something of a plunge after that conversation.



TRANSLATION: "Don't underestimate me. I see you as competition. You will pay."

[Kanna]

Aah, don't worry about it. If it gets bad, I'll jump in and help you out.

[Sakura]

Yes! Thank you very much!

TRANSLATION: "Thank you, you wonderfully idiotic fool, that'll give me the perfect opportunity to dispose of you while you're not looking, should the need arise!"

[Kanna]

A~lright! Let's hurry up and finish this up, jump into the baths, and get somethin' to eat!!

[Sakura]

Okay! I'll do my best!!

TRANSLATION: "... to make sure that you will never lay a single finger upon my beloved Ogami's finely-muscled arms, deliciously toned abs, or delightfully spikey hair!"

Aaaand from 6:15 on, there's really nothing left except for footage of Ogami and his team trying to get over that bridge.

Time skip!



It took way too long to get even ONE Koubu across that bridge. Cursed movement phases.



... you can tell who hadn't been listening to the briefing.

----
[Setsuna]

Hahahaha! Flower Division! I've fooled you!! All those barrels you destroyed... they were filled with KITTENS.
Weep and despair at your unintentional slaughter of HUNDREDS!!


[Sakura]

What? You horrible fiend!!

[Sumire]

I, Sumire Kanzaki, will never forgive you!

[Maria]

Did you really think this will stop us? You've only redoubled our determination to drive you back to hell.

[Kanna]

Yeah, like this'll hold us up from kickin' your ass! I mean, I EAT kittens for breakfast!!!

[Sumire]

...

[Maria]

...

[Ogami]

... Kanna...

[Kanna]

A-ah heh. I meant, uh, "chips and fish." Haha, I must've misspoke.

[Maria]

... deep-fried, lathered in gravy, and cooked in their own sad little kitten tears, Kanna?

[Kanna]

Yeah, exactly! It ain't wholesome, but it's finger-lickin' delicious--

[Kanna]

-- FUCK.
----



Well... yes, since you just stood around for most of the battle while the team was having their afternoon chat?



Whoosh! Mecha acrobatics!



Along with meaningless, testosterone-laden shows of violence!



But forget THAT, it's time to rumble! FUCK YES, BOSS FI--



Wait.

... it's that kid. It's that kid from the very beginning of the battle.

You have got to be kidding me.



Yes. Because he didn't have the brains to get the heck out of dodge or to move AWAY from the barrel-smackin' Setsuna or even to just leave the house through the back door.


----


One second to make this decision--


----


Chunkachunkachunkachunka--



--chunkachunkachunkachunka


----


EXTREEEEEM PROTECTION!!


----


Yeah, kid, you'd BETTER run! You're about to have this man's blood on your hands in about t-minus three, two, one--



[Ogami]

GWWAAAAAaaaaarrrgh....!!



(CLANG)


----


... and Setsuna... flees after delivering that burn.

Hee hee, he runs like Donkey Kong.


----


And swims like a fish. Maybe.

---------
Optional Video of the Previous Scene!

Google Version!
Youtube Version Coming Soon.
---------

Well, now that THAT'S over with, would a victory pose be too much to ask for?

... Ogami?

----
[Ogami]

...
----

Uh. Hold on a sec, let's have an instant action replay on that hit. It couldn't have hurt him THAT m--











... oh.

Oh.

Well. Damn. Nice knowin' you, Ogami.



NEXT TIME (ETA 3-4 days?): Oh hoh, why not enjoy your afterlife?


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