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BATTLE #2 BOSS... AGAIN! - VIDEO ----
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"I will cut at her," said the Wakiji and it drew its sword. Sumire slashed at it and tried to sliced it up. But then everyone was in the way and she was trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons," she shouted.
The radio crackled. "No, Sumire," Maria said. "You are the demons."
And then Sumire was useless.
~ Extract from Ichiro Ogami's memoirs, written during his nervous breakdown in 1927.
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Alright, so we've settled down for the long haul. Our fight against Kage will continue to be a lengthy battle that shall test our endurance to its very limits! Ogami will have to ration his Cover ability, and constantly shift strategies to suit the ever-changing situation. Mark my words: the cost will be high, but we will prevail over Kage and take him down, no matter how long it takes! We're kicking its ass across--
-- wait, wait, hold on a second, WE had the upper hand here. When did you guys start getting YOUR asses kicked? Kage does, like, five to fifteen damage per turn to ONE Koubu.
I swear, I turn away for a couple of days two minutes and our fearless leader fails in a truly epic manner. Ogami's leadership abilities have a lot to answer for. 
[Tsubaki]
We've been watching our steam-powered calculator, and we're not picking up a steam reaction from the Wakiji!
[Ogami]
Wh, what do you mean? No steam reaction... it's as if the Wakiji's a ghost.
Tsubaki-chan, can you give us anything more detailed than that?
[Tsubaki]
W-when you ask us so suddenly.... there's nothing we can do~!
[Ogami]
I, I'm sorry... ch'... how can we defeat this enemy?!
Those of you in the audience should know as well as I do that there's only one answer to that question.
Overwhelming amounts of firepower! GO, YONEDA, GO!! 
Huh. It's not Yoneda? Man, that poor bastard never gets to have any fun, ever since the government took away his driver's license.
... wait, the mystery pilot's going to do WHAT?
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[Ogami]
C-couldn't the Shogeimaru's pilot at least tell us who's in range of the bombardment?!
[Kohran]
Don't worry, Ogami-han, we'll probably be given plenty o' time t' get th' hell outta dodge!
[Sumire]
Indeed, no organization would not DARE risk the lives of what few elite pilots they have in their possession.
[Maria]
... ... I think Shogeimaru's started firing.
[Sakura]
... huh?
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DEMON-DRIVEN MECHANICAL SOLDIER: SAMURAI
Clearly, Tenkai has all the naming sense of a stoned monkey.
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[Ogami]
Well, sure, that's all fine and dandy, but... half my team was sort of killed on account of getting BOMBED.
[Sakura]
Actually, I feel just fine, even though I distinctly remember getting ripped to shreds by the shrapnel that punctured my Koubu's armor!
[Ogami]
Eh? ... how?!
[Maria]
Ensign. I already told you, didn't I?
[Maria]
.... we're GOVERNMENT.
[Ogami]
... ... 
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[Ogami]
U, understood.... all units... focus your fire on the enemy's true form!
[Maria]
Understood!
[Ogami]
(That was a ridiculously swift conversation, but... I wonder who in the world that voice was?)
And as my second favorite battle theme in the game starts up, so begins the true final battle of the chapter: defeat Samurai, and Kage will fold as well. Finally, a boss that the Flower Division can really sink its teeth into! Y'know, even though the team has been blown all the fuck way down the hill by the force of the explosion moved down here by mysterious means.
Ogami covers Sakura and kicks up the Wind strategy, because Samurai is a giant douche who won't stay still and take the vicious (and yet justice-filled!) gang beating that it deserves.
And the sunnovagun in question is in front of the stairs leading up to the hilltop tower.
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Suddenly, by some quirk of fate, the gears within Samurai's focused, murderous mind arrives upon an epiphany.
It stares at the blue sky, listens to the bird calls in the distance, and truly sees Shiba Park for the first time: a place where men and women can bring their children to play, knowing only of peace and well-being for all others. And it realizes that life is beautiful.
Even as Kage works itself into a murderous rage, reacting to the sudden calmness falling across its doppleganger's mind, Samurai weeps as he remembers all the horrors that his fellow Wakijis have wrought upon the world. Violence is not the answer! Humans deserve to live without fear of being reduced to a series of stains under the feet of demonic steam-powered mecha; similarly, Wakijis are not required to live as mere slaves of the murderous Tenkai! Everyone... EVERYONE deserves better.
Samurai builds up his resolve. All he needs to do is to communicate these facts to the Flower Division, and they will surely understand. They, of all people, will welcome, with open arms, his wish to free all Wakijis from their hellish fate as mindless clockwork soldiers!!
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[Samurai]
KIIIII----!!
[Ogami]
Is he trying to say something?
[Kohran]
Eh, he's probably jes' cursing us out for messin' with his plans. Let's just brutally slaughter th' poor sap, and put him outta his misery.
[Ogami]
Business as usual, then. Move out!
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As Samurai fled the lightning bolts, cherry blossom bursts, and suicide bombing droids, he wept as his dreams came crashing down around his ears, and cursed the fact that Tenkai never actually gave him any vocal cords with which to communicate.
And thus began the brutal beating of a Wakiji that wouldn't hurt a fly.
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Are Maria and Sumire's Koubus THAT ridiculously slow? I mean, their robots are top-of-the-line here, fellas. They should at LEAST be able to outpace grunts and cannon fodder. :/
I'm starting to wonder if Kohran has picked up on how popular Maria and Sumire have become, and fucked with their Koubu's engines or propulsion systems or however the hell these things move.
Oh, good, it's Maria's turn, and-
Once we get her inherently psychopathic aiming systems under control....
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H-he's not even fighting back. He's just running from those cold, merciless eyes. Why can't the Flower Division just let Samurai run free? 
The morality behind killing intelligent demon drones aside, Samurai's down to less than half health after four final attacks.
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Samurai wept as pain lanced through his mechanical body. Despite his best efforts to run and dodge, four of the Flower Division had already torn into him- his right arm was a mangled mess, and the proud flags worn on his back had long since been shoved through his neck by the particularly eager white Koubu. It was only by some miracle of chance that his legs hadn't been taken out from under him.
Samurai was perplexed. He'd been convinced that the Flower Division was the only group brave enough to stand up to Lord Tenkai's mad bid for world domination, and did so out of a strong sense of justice. Didn't they see that he had no intention of fighting them? Could they not sense that his motives were pure, and his cause just?
Doubt began creeping through Samurai's mind. These brave men and women of the Flower Division couldn't POSSIBLY just be an undisciplined, murderous fighting force that was here simply for the sake of KILLING. And they MUST take their collective duty seriously, to the point that their finely-honed minds thought of nothing other than defeating these threats to the Imperial Capital.
... right?
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Samurai suddenly noticed that the fifth Koubu- the purple one- was hesitating. For a moment, he could only stare in surprise at her lack of aggressiveness and bloodthirstiness.
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Samurai had no way of hearing Sumire wail and curse out her teammates for blocking her way, and for cockblocking her movement phase by sitting their Koubus' oversized posteriors right in the middle of the road.
Similarly, he couldn't hear the other pilots' retorts- that the Ensign had not ordered them to move, that Sumire-han's Koubu was slowed down an awful lot by all th' fancy-pants crap that she'd installed on its arms, and SHUT UP SUMIRE I'M IMAGINING THAT I'M CUTTING TICKETS.
Samurai simply thought: why is the purple Koubu refusing to attack me?
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Samurai noted how she kept stopping behind the pink one, as if to try and talk her teammate out of something.
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Samurai watched in amazement as the Purple One's rage peaked, as if she was becoming passionate about how they shouldn't be beating the ever-loving shit out of some poor, defenseless Wakiji.
He was only slightly wrong: Sumire was threatening to off her own teammates if they didn't move aside and let HER beat the ever-loving shit out of that poor, defenseless Wakiji. Or hell, she'd even take any of the VIOLENT Wakijis, for Pete's sake, just MOVE.
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Eventually, the Purple One sagged in place, clearly unwilling to continue attacking a foe who wouldn't fight back, and yet unable to get in her comrades' way. Samurai was much too far to see the Green One activate the Purple One's temporary manual override, or to hear Sumire's bloodthirsty howls of impotent rage.
Even as he fled, Samurai wept at the Purple One's beautiful sense of honor, and his respect for her grew. Such a wonderful moral code, a code that does not allow for an attack on a defenseless opponent!
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Incidentally, shooting excruciatingly painful arcs of electricity straight into Sumire's arm is Ogami's way of laughing at her.
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(Editor's Note: Why Samurai couldn't have hidden himself closer to the tower- or why he couldn't have just attacked it directly while everyone's attention was focused on Kage- remains a complete mystery, at least to everyone but Samurai. Regardless, it's really not too hard to block his path and force him to move around us.)
Back to Mountain, because everyone- EVERYONE- will be aiming for Ogami again and I don't particularly want to lose him.
Sakura is merely one more brick in my Great Wall Of Cockblocking Bastards Brave Koubus.
And again, the auto-targeting system spites me by making me accidentally waste her attacks on Kage.
REGARDLESS, the dogpile moves on!
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[Sakura]
O-Ogami-san, why are you ordering Kohran to attack?! She's going to hit ALL of us!!
[Ogami]
We must all make sacrifices for the greater good, Sakura-kun.
[Sakura]
Why are you hiding behind m- ... are you trying to use me as a shield?
[Ogami]
... ... ... some of us must make bigger sacrifices than others, Sakura-kun.
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And somehow, Kohran's techie abilities have advanced to the point where she can create fin funnels remote-controlled laser satellites.
Remote-controlled laser satellites. 
(Incidentally, Maria's "I am hit" noise is probably the second-least graceful noise I have ever heard in my life.)
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Amusingly enough, Samurai thinks it can escape the wrath of the Flower Division.
EXTERMINATUS!
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... providing that, y'know, Ogami survives the series of skin grafts and the years of painful physical therapy needed to put him back on his feet.
Also, I just noticed that Maria may or may not be smiling in this picture.
If this were any other person, there'd probably be some sort of damage or accuracy penalty for trying to shoot up a hill at someone.
Naturally, Maria transcends such mundane matters as "physics" and "terrain" and "obstructions".
Kohran plum forgot to keep Sumire's manual override going.
With a feral scream, the Grand Imperial Theater's top star launched herself forward and--
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-- got horribly stuck.
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Through a haze of pain and oil, Samurai watched as the Purple One gave up trying to show the Pink One and the White One the error of their ways.
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Not even the dreaded Black One- the only one who could possibly have been the leader, from what Samurai could see of their tactics- could be swayed.
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Samurai watched sadly as the Purple One had no choice but to obey orders, listening to her oddly-excited scream as she barreled towards him, her naginata swinging around--
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-- only to stop an inch from his face.
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Samurai couldn't believe it. The... the Purple One had spared him, even though it meant that she was going against her orders!* A sense of peace filled Samurai's mind. He knew it- humans ARE all good. His dream, the freedom of Wakiji and human beings alike... he could leave that in the hands of the Flower Division.
And Samurai even understood that this was to be a mercy killing... Samurai could feel Tenkai attempting to seep back into his mind, and to take control of his newly-discovered sense of self.
With that in mind... Samurai stopped racing up the hill, and turned to face his fate, peace in his heart.
*As a matter of fact, the orders that Sumire received were something like this:
[Ogami]
Now, Sumire!! Finish it o-- OH GOD IRIS WHY ARE YOU IN MY BRAI-
-KZZT-
[Ogami]
SUMIRE, ONIICHAN ORDERS- I mean, 'I'- ORDER YOU TO BACK AWAY. YOU ARE GETTING TOO POPULAR WITH ONIICHA- 'ME', AND ONLY IRIS WILL BE THE ONE TO CLAIM 'MY' MIND, 'MY' BODY, AND 'MY' SOUL. THAT IS ALL.
-KZZT-
[Ogami]
Aah... er, a-as you were.
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After enduring blow after blow, Samurai hiked back down the hill. The pain, the terror... all of it was beginning to fade, even the Purple One's loud and repeated insistance that she at least should be the one to land the deathblow.
Samurai was touched by her thoughtfulness, and would very much have liked to been killed by the only lifeform on earth that had understood him.
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Sensing the impending death of their leader, the remaining Wakiji begin piling onto Maria, but...
... well. Heal, I love you so. 
Five hits until Samurai crumples, and Maria can only attack four times. For a moment, it appeared that Sumire would be able to claim the last hit for herself.
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Maria winked to Kohran.
Kohran winked back at Maria.
As it was in their best interests to eclipse Sumire's growing popularity, and the biggest threat to their OWN popularity ratings, Maria and Kohran teamed up to deal just enough damage...
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... to take out the boss without even having to turn to Sumire.
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[Ogami]
Except for you, Sumire!! Let's all point and laugh at her for being such a failure!!
[Sumire]
*SOB*
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[Ogami]
But, before that...
[Kohran]
C'mon, let's do THAT!
[Everyone]
Victory pose....
[Everyone]
Go!
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And suddenly, the world goes black, and a voice sounds out from the depths of HELL.
THE DEMONS HAVE ARRIVED, BLANKETING THE SKY AND BLOTTING OUT THE SUN THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF NUMBERS. ALL IS LOST!
[Ogami]
Eh.....?
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[Ogami]
IT'S THE FINGER BLOWJOB WOMAN!!
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[Kohran]
This is the Imperial Assault Force's vice-commander, and the head of the Flower Mansion branch.
[Ogami]
E-eh?! V, vice-commander?!
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[Ogami]
Oh. Guess I should've waited before yelling out 'finger blowjob woman', huh. Hahahaha...
[???]
...
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[Ogami]
The... the pleasure's all mine!
[Ayame]
A captain needs to be able to make split-second decisions. I have high expectations for you. Hang in there, Ogami-kun.
[Ogami]
Ah....
Time to whip out that lady-killing charm of yours, Ogami!
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[Maria]
Bad Sakura, you shouldn't shoot a tranquilizer dart at the man you obsessively love.
[Sakura]
BUT HE WAS TALKING TO ANOTHER WOMAN.
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[Ayame]
Please hang in there! Captain-san.
[Ogami]
Ah.... yes. I'll do my very best. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
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[Maria]
Sakura, you KNOW that the Ensign's on the verge of slapping you with a restraining order, right?
[Sakura]
You just want to keep me away from Ogami-san, don't you?
[Maria]
... what on earth are you talking about?
[Sakura]
Just you wait, Maria-san. One day, Ogami-san shall be...
[Sakura?]
... OURS.
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---- Battle #2: Aftermath - VIDEO ----
Google Edition.
Youtube Edition.
The previous scene with voices!
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MEANWHILE...
Tenkai is ronery.
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[Tenkai]
See? I has hundreds of friends.
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[Tenkai]
If that's the case... then this Tenkai shall teach them the meaning of true fear!!
Death Emperors!!
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[Tenkai]
...
[Tenkai]
What's wrong? Why aren't my minions cheering?!
[Miroku]
My lord. It might help if you gave them more advanced AIs and allowed them the ability to cheer.
[Tenkai]
Oh.
[Tenkai]
....
[Tenkai]
This must look pretty sad and pathetic, huh.
[Miroku]
... yes, my lord. It sort of does.
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[Maria]
Farewell, my youth...
[Maria]
Farewell, my love.
[Maria]
In that war...
[Maria]
... time stopped for me.
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[Maria]
Next time on Sakura Wars:
[Maria]
"I'm not fit to be captain!?"
[Maria]
A storm of romance amongst the Taisho cherry blossoms!
[Maria]
The pain within my heart...
[Maria]
... is known only by this locket.
---- Final Video of Chapter 2 ----
Google Edition.
Youtube Edition.
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