<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index
Kohran is up to bat!
Since there's not much to do down below, she's better off hopping onto the roof so that she can actually do things.
So let's use these stairs.
BY DEFYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS BY USING SCIENCE BECAUSE SHE'S THE GODDAMN KOHRAN. 
----
[Maria]
...
[Ogami]
Wh... why do you keep looking at me like that? What have I done NOW?
[Maria]
Nothing, Captain. I'm merely waiting for you to ask her how the hell she's doing that so that I don't have to ask.
[Ogami]
Are you kidding? You KNOW she'll just spout something vaguely pseudo-science-ish that'll make no sense AND add to my ever-growing collection of mental scars!
[Maria]
But you've been asking her questions on a fairly regular basis, Captain. Why not this one?
[Ogami]
... doctor's orders. My psychiatrist's prohibited me from asking more than a few questions to Kohran per battle, and I'm saving them up for subjects that could reasonably and directly endanger the fate of the world as we know it. Why don't YOU ask her?
[Maria]
Because 1) it's not like you will have an epileptic seizure from asking one more question, and 2) you are the Captain.
[Ogami]
Fine, fine... hey, Kohran, how'd you-
[Kohran]
Invisible trained weasels wit' genetically enhanced super strength!
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
B-But that... that doesn't even make ANY sense at GURK.
[Maria]
... I see you've been busier than we'd thought during our weeks of training, Kohran.
[Kohran]
Hey now, since Ogami-han's trainin' probably strengthened his mental fortitude, Ah gotta sharpen my wits t' match, right?
----
And a final attack directed not at the poor unfortunate car, but-
- toward the actual enemy in question.
[Kohran]
The Four Symbols descend!
[Kohran]
It's th' science o' victory!
----
----
[Kohran]
Rage! Sacred Beasts Robo!!
----
----
The Azure Dragon of the East spews lasers, as dragons are wont to do...
The Vermilion Bird of the South runs right through the enemy...
The White Tiger of the West drives like a motorcycle and stings like a truck...
And the Black Tortoise of the North?
BLOWS ITSELF THE FUCK UP.
----
[Ogami]
Ahaha, right then, I'll just, uh, be going now...
[Kohran]
Ah was talkin' to th' Kouma, Ogami-han! YOU ain't going nowhere.
[Sakura]
Still, that attack was amazing! Couldn't you keep those Four Symbols by your side for the whole battle, Kohran?
[Kohran]
Nope! Can't summon 'em unless my spiritual energy peaks. Can't control 'em, either, so they'd jes' level th' town.
[Sakura]
Level the-
[Ogami]
Y-You made them as powerful as the real things, didn't you.
[Kohran]
Hey, didn't you get th' memo? TH' GODS HAVE DESCENDED, OGAMI-HAN! HYAHAHAHAHA!!
[Ogami]
(If the Kouma knew what was good for them, they'd run like hell.)
----
Sadly, the Kouma DON'T run. They DO have an unpleasant surprise for us, though:
... ranged attacks, in the form of what APPEARS to be shit-spitting.
----
Once again, the steam-powered Minis appear to be the OTHER sole focus of the Koumas' ire.
... though instead of using the rest of its turn to destroy the car, the Kouma defends itself, clearly cringing in fear from the vengeful wrath of the vehicle and its possible counterattacks.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT YEAH, MARIA
Seeing how Maria can't actually REACH anything... well, that's pretty much her turn. And that's TWO of our most powerful, deadliest, and ridiculously violent brigade members who haven't actually had their turn yet. The next couple of turns will be brutal.
... meh, Iris.
----
[Ogami]
... now that Iris's Jinbu doesn't actually have any LEGS, what fuel does it actually-
[Kohran]
Nightmare fuel! It's potent, limitless, an' environmentally friendly.
[Ogami]
... how you harvest this nightmare fuel wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the orphanages that were established in memory of all the casualties the Imperial Assault Force has directly or indirectly caused, would it?
[Kohran]
Hey, that's right! How'd ya guess?
[Ogami]
I... I'm getting better at recognizing these sorts of patterns, though it's costing me my peace of mind. I-
[Ogami]
... wait, nightmare fuel is "environmentally friendly"?
[Kohran]
'Course it is! Look, fresh water an' trees an' dead dinosaurs an' all that other fuel are technically finite, right?
[Kohran]
... but since we'll never run out of blood, crud, tears an' fear, why not harness THEM as viable sources o' energy?
[Ogami]
But what about the cost in terms of mentally scarring untold numbers of people!?
[Kohran]
Hey, humans're also a renewable resource, an' sanity is overrated.
[Ogami]
W-Well, I can't deny that we're careening towards overpopulation, and an absence of sanity makes the heart grow fonder, but...
[Kohran]
Q.E.D.!
----
<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index