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[Ogami]
Continue doing what?
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[Ayame]
Being horrifically awkward in the most awkward way possible, of course!
[Ogami]
Oh. Oh, great.
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[Ayame]
How is it, Ogami-kun? This is a fairly good cafe, isn't it?
[Ogami]
Aah... well.
[Ayame]
Ogami-kun... what's wrong? Are you still... thinking about that boy from earlier?
[Ogami]
Yes...
[Ayame]
I see... perhaps it would've been better if I hadn't brought you to a place like this.
I've done something unnecessary, haven't I? You have a lot to think about, don't you, Ogami-kun...
Yippee! It's time to use uncharacteristic angst to create something vaguely resembling character development!
[Ogami]
N-No... that's not it at all.
And if that fails?
[Ayame]
That's how it always is... even when I think I'm doing something good, it turns out that I'm simply meddling, doesn't it.
I'm... a failure as a vice commander, aren't I...
USE MORE ANGST.
[Ogami]
A-Ayame-san...
[Ogami]
Can't you... rely on me? I might not be quite up to par yet, but I'll do my best!
[Ogami]
I want to be there to support you, Ayame-san.
If you know what I-
Okay, fine, that was kinda... well, okay, so it wasn't so much "sweet" as it was "ridiculously awkward and mushy." But, in the world of Sakura Wars...!
[Ayame]
As the captain of the Flower Division, you've become quite reliable, haven't you. It's very promising.
[Ogami]
No... not just as a captain...
... well.
Well, okay, this WOULD warrant an "if you know what I mean."
Y'know, once I get over the utterly shocking fact that Ogami FINALLY spoke his mind after 3/4ths of a year.
[Ayame]
I'm sorry, Ogami-kun. Anything more than this would be...
[Ayame]
Right now... I just want to think only about bringing an end to this battle.
[Ogami]
... y-yes'm.
Though, yeah, we all knew that there was only one way that something like this could turn out. Hell, Ayame's been cockblocking the poor bastard since the beginning of time, so it's not like she'll ever STOP.
[Ayame]
... you know, Ogami-kun. Even I have times when I want to complain.
But... I have to be reliable for everyone else... I have to dedicate myself to that.
... and just leaving that aside? They go back to talking like Ayame hadn't just crushed all of Ogami's perverted fantasies hopes and dreams under her heel. As usual.
[Ogami]
So that's how it was... I've always thought of you as an exceptionally strong person, Ayame-san.
[Ayame]
Hmhmhm... really? That's not how it is at all. Of course, I can only say this because we're alone.
Ogami-kun. If you ever feel like complaining... then come to talk it over with me, quietly.
No matter what happens, I'll always be there for you. Okay?
[Ogami]
Thank you very much. Ayame-san... I understand now.
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[Ayame]
Emphasis on the "quietly" part, of course~!
[Ogami]
Of course! I--
[Ayame]
If you let any of that slip to anyone else, I will start chopping off slices of your body and using them as ammunition for the Shogeimaru's cannon~!
[Ogami]
I, um, of course!
[Ayame]
Starting from your non-essential extremities and organs and working my way up from there~!
[Ogami]
... y-y-y-yes'm.
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[Ogami]
This is no time for me to be troubled. I'll think about how we can become strong enough to defeat any enemy!
... I... don't really know WHY, but I can't help but hear this line delivered by any character from the Speed Racer era of cartoons. Really, it's about on that level of sheer corniness.
[Ayame]
That's right. I'll also be rooting for you. Please hang in there, Ogami-kun.
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And evening once again gives way to night. Where the fuck DO all those clouds go, anyway?
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And night gives way to day.
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[Ogami]
HhhoOY!
[Kohran]
Ah, Ogami-han! Welcome back to th' land of th' livin'~!
[Ogami]
I'm... I'm alive? And I'm whole again!?
[Kohran]
Yup! Yer fit as a fiddle. Can't say th' same fer th' theater girls, but who cares 'bout 'em, anyhow?
[Ogami]
Still... you're amazing, Kohran! Y'know, if you ignore the sheer bloody horror of what you've done. There aren't even any stitches on me!
[Kohran]
O' course there ain't any stitches. Ah didn't actually cut you in half.
[Ogami]
... come again?
[Kohran]
Ah didn't actually cut ya in half! Ah jes' made ya think that Ah did. Wonderful things, hallucinogens.
[Ogami]
Really?
[Kohran]
... what, didja think Ah could actually slice you in half an' paste both halves of ya onto robot parts in th' five minutes that Ah had t' work with?
[Ogami]
Well, now that you mention it...
[Kohran]
It woulda taken me 'bout fifteen minutes.
[Ogami]
W... well, hahaha, great, now I won't have to worry about brain damage or bleeding to death or-
[Ogami]
... wait, I WAS in two places at once, wasn't I?
[Kohran]
Yup.
[Ogami]
... how?
[Kohran]
Spirit energy split y'all in half 'cause you believed!
[Ogami]
What the HELL!?
[Kohran]
Ah, wouldja prefer th' Mr. Cloning Gun explanation?
[Ogami]
... wait, what? Which explanation IS it!?
[Kohran]
One of them? Both of 'em? Neither of them? Th' world may never know.
[Ogami]
... I really wish I lived in a world where NEITHER of those options were actually possible.
[Kohran]
Ahahaha, don't sweat the small stuff~. Y'all got what ya needed t' get done, didn't you?
[Ogami]
I... I GUESS I did? I mean, sure, it was at the cost of my steadily-slipping grip on reality, but...
[Kohran]
Then all's well that ends well! By the way, it's time fer a meetin' that'll decide th' fate of th' world as we know it.
[Ogami]
Wait, wh-
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[Ogami]
Wait, what? Really? ... how much fucking time did that last exchange TAKE!?
[Maria]
Too much. Now sit down, shut up, and start this meeting.
[Ogami]
Yes'm. Y'know, I could've SWORN that I'd grown some balls not too long ago.
----
[Ogami]
Right... then let's get started.
[Ogami]
To make things clear: currently, it is impossible for us to defeat the Kouma.
[Sumire]
... Ensign, I do not believe that to be the case.
[Kanna]
... what're you saying!? We could barely scratch those things, and that's the truth!
[Sumire]
If we were to prepare even stronger spirit armor units, there would be no way for us to lose against those sorts of monsters.
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[Ayame]
Or we COULD just use the Shogeimaru to blast all the Kouma to smithereens. Forever.
[Ogami]
... with all due respect, ma'am, but could you PLEASE stop abusing the PA system just to tell us that every two minutes?
[Yoneda]
Search your heart, m'boy. You know it to be a totally awesome solution.
[Ogami]
You too, sir? Seriously?
[Kohran]
Ah kinda hafta agree on principle here, Ogami-han. C'mon! Think of th' explosions!
[Ogami]
Look, we're the Imperial Assault Force, not the Let's Fucking Carpet-Bomb The Entire Fucking Imperial Capital Force!
[Yoneda]
... well now, that DOES have a nice ring to-
[Ogami]
No sir please don't.
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[Kanna]
No, it's no fault of the Koubu. Right now, it's US who're lacking something!
[Sakura]
I think so too. I believe that we didn't have enough drive to win.
[Ogami]
Well, let's see...
The second choice would give everyone even MORE power, which, while attractive, doesn't sound like it would be particularly constructive. Quite the opposite, in fact. Meanwhile, the third choice ALSO doesn't sound like it would go over too well.
By process of elimination, we arrive at the boring option the first option.
[Ogami]
All members need to train again. After all, the Koubu derive their combat strength from the power of their pilots.
[Kohran]
So, wait, if that's th' case... if we also made improvements to th' Koubu's abilities...
[Sakura]
Then it'll truly be overkill! If that were the case, then we'd definitely be able to win, won't we?!
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: The first part of that sentence isn't the most accurate translation, but I think it gets the rough meaning across.
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[Ogami]
Alright! In that case, each one of us...
Of course...
... you just can't please EVERYone.
[Ogami]
... eh?
[Iris]
Iris thinks that making new Koubu would be better than something like special training.
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[Kanna]
Maybe YOU can't.
[Sumire]
Excluding certain monstrously powerful behemoths, of course.
[Kanna]
... who, Iris?
[Sumire]
NO, YOU.
[Kanna]
Oh, right! Whew, for a moment there, I thought I was losin' my touch!
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[Sumire]
... and YOU can go become some monstrous king of the jungle or whatever you wish.
[Ogami]
Both of you, calm down!
[Ogami]
True...
... clearly, Maria's place in the Flower Division has always been that of the behind-the-scenes puppeteer who TRULY makes all the decisions for the Flower Division, working through the figurehead of a Captain.
Maria's status as Ogami's love interest/VIP has only solidified her position as... the Shadow Council.
[Ogami]
... I got it. Everyone, do as you will.
[Sakura]
O-Ogami-san?
[Ogami]
What we all need to do right now... I believe that each of us understands that.
Each of you... take whatever actions you think would be best suited for the sake of fighting the Kouma!
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[Maria]
With all due respect, Captain, are you out of your ever-loving mind?
[Sakura]
D-Ditto. Without the part about ever-loving.
[Kanna]
Me three. Without the "all due respect" part.
[Ogami]
... look, do you REALLY think that we can force these two to do something they don't want to do? What'll happen if I try to force either of them to run, say, fifty laps around the theater?
[Kanna]
... well, Sumire would probably, uh... I dunno. Hire someone to do it. Or purchase the theater wholesale. And the Flower Division.
[Sakura]
I-I'm not sure what Iris would do, but I have a feeling that the amount of running needed to complete fifty laps will cease to have absolutely any meaning whatsoever under whatever laws of physics she'll cook up. ... much like last time.
[Ogami]
Precisely.
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[Maria]
Then... let's end the meeting here. Everyone, keep it together.
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[Maria]
... and God help us all.
[Ogami]
Oh, we BOTH know that it's much too late for that.
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So, what DOES happen now that Ogami's given everyone the green light to do whatever the hell they want?
Naturally, a montage happens!
[Maria]
Hey, Enfield... what should I do to shake the rust off of my skills?
[Kohran]
... awright! Th' spirit engine's conductivity's hittin' its theoretical mark! Next up... combinin' th' pulse!!
[Iris]
Look, look, Sumire~! We bought so~ much, didn't we!!
[Sumire]
Oh~hoh hoh hoh hoh hoh! Now then, let us return to the theater and make a competitive showing of our spoils of war!!
[Iris]
Ya~ay! I can't wait~!! Then after that, Iris'll take a nap~!!
[Kanna]
I'll do it! If it's me, I've got to be able to do it! This time for sure, I'll surpass my old man!!
[Sakura]
The path of the sword, namely the path of the heart... only with the heart will the sword reach its radiant apex . ... quickly... lightly!!
[Ogami]
Uuuooooooaaaaaah! The Imperial Capital... we shall protect it without fail!!
...
Okay, so to recap:
1) Sakura is waxing philosophical about her sword.
2) Maria is polishing her gun. And talking to it. This is a perfectly healthy thing to do.
3) Kohran is improving the technology that allows the Flower Division to wreak as much havoc as it does.
4) Kanna is... uh, actually training.
5) Sumire is buying things.
6) Iris is being taught everything she knows from the worst possible role model in the Flower Division.
7) Ogami is posing.
... so if we break it down like that, only TWO of them are actually doing something that'll make the Flower Division appreciably stronger. Everyone else is dicking around.
To whit, that was probably the worst training montage ever things do not look good for 1) our heroes, 2) their opponents, 3) every civilian in a 5,000 mile radius, and 4) all of the above.
NEXT TIME: The fruits of our labor- ... fuck, I can't say it with a straight face.
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