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VIDEO ALERT!
Before the battle.
Google Version!
"... once the Imperial Assault Force was able to discern [the Hive of Darkness's] long-term objective, virtually everyone assumed that it would give Japan the edge needed to triumph over the demons once and for all. Archbishop Tenkai had a very specific pattern of targets in mind, one that made predicting the location of his next attack a simple matter indeed.
"The Hive of Darkness staked everything on being able to complete their incantation before the humans could figure out what was going on; the Imperial Assault Force prayed that they would have enough time to second-guess the demons' plans. Both sides gambled... and the humans came out on top, with just enough time to mobilize their forces and forestall Tenkai's installation of the final 'linchpin'.
"However, no one* could have predicted that the Hive of Darkness would strike at the very heart of Ginza... and at the nervous system of the Imperial Assault Force, the Grand Imperial Theater."
- Excerpt from the 1977 edition of "Samurai Spirits: The History of the Flower Division," written by M. Sunnyside.
*Interestingly enough, then-Ensign Ichiro Ogami had a fairly large number of observations on his superiors' abilities to predict much of anything. None of them are fit for printing, however.
- L. Altair.
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TAISHO ERA, 12th YEAR: SEPTEMBER
BASEMENT of the GRAND IMPERIAL THEATER
And as the scene is opened up, everyone is just chillin'. Y'know, if the Crimson Hornet Squad had bothered to finish a clearly-incapacitated Kanna and Iris off, the game would probably be a lot shorter than it is at present.
... this kind of begs the question of what the hell Kanna and Iris are actually doing, since it's a given that neither can actually be killed, let alone incapacitated by something so silly as Wakiji. I mean, Kanna's a musclebound primeval god-deity of WAR in human form, and Iris is a... somewhat different (but no less dangerous) sort of god-deity.
But we've got more pressing matters to worry about!
For instance, Kohran going THWAP!
... and she actually gets owned so hard that she bounces off the wall behind her before faceplanting.
Things ain't goin' so well.
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To make matters worse, Kohran is cornered! Could this be... could this be the end of the line for our honorable, brave, and above all else depraved heroes!?
[Maria]
Don't give up!!
Pfft, of COURSE it isn't the end of the line. We've still got Maria.
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Maria, who's showing us that--
-- bitches don't know 'bout her hip-slung mecha rifle. 
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Sadly, even Maria isn't immune to getting slapped off to the side, as blasphemous as the thought may be. And finally...
We have Sumire. Who is probably completely unharmed on account of it's still not her turn yet.
... EVEN IN THE GODDAMN CUTSCENES. 
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As usual, however--
[Sakura]
That's as far as you go!
-- demonic boasting never fails to attract meddling anime protagonists.
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----
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[Ogami]
... damn, I'm cool.
[Kohran]
Um...
[Ogami]
Fear not, Kohran, I'm here to save you!
[Sumire]
And Sakura-san?
[Ogami]
She's beyond saving. In more ways than one.
[Kohran]
Anyways, I'm happy that y'all have come t' save us, but what're ya plannin' to do 'bout that there point-blank explosion?
[Ogami]
What? What point-blank--
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----
[Ogami]
GAH!
[Kohran]
That one. But hey, don't worry, you'll probably be alright. Theatrics an' all that, y'know?
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[Ogami]
... uh. I, well, thanks for the heads-up, Kohran.
[Kohran]
Yeah, I still got it.
[Ogami]
... anyway, Sakura-kun, you can stop staring at my Koubu's ass and come down the stairs now, it's time to fight.
[Sakura]
YES, MY LORD!
[Iris]
What the--
[Ogami]
I-I'll explain later, fight-fight chop-chop first.
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[Maria]
Sakura!!
[Iris]
Oniichan!!
[Kanna]
Captain!!
[Kohran]
Y'all are late, th' both of ya!!
[Sumire]
Honestly!!
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[Kohran]
Y'all suck! What took ya so long?
[Sumire]
Honestly!!
[Ogami]
Hah hah hah, oh fuck you all.
[Sakura]
!
[Ogami]
Except you.
[Sakura]
Awww.
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[Miroku]
Whoa there, no need to rush, be sure not to strain yourselves you backward imbeciles.
[Sumire]
Good help is so hard to find, isn't it?
[Miroku]
Bite me.
----
With that, Miroku disappears to watch from the bleachers!
----
[Maria]
... they kind of did, Captain.
[Ogami]
Yeah, I was about to get to that-- how the hell did you guys fuck UP so badly?
[Maria]
I deemed it prudent to try and follow your example, since your leadership abilities HAVE served us well.
[Ogami]
How'd it go?
[Maria]
...
~~FLASHBACK~~
[Maria]
Hmm. If I'm to follow the Captain's example...
[Maria]
...
[Maria]
Everyone, tear off your Koubu's limbs and throw them at the enemy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Maria]
... let's just say that I'll be the first to admit that your strategies ARE more complex than "do the dumbest thing that comes to mind."
[Ogami]
I'll... I'll just take that as a vote of confidence and move on.
----
[Ogami]
Here we go, Sakura-kun... we're breaking through those barrier walls and rescuing everyone else!
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[Sakura]
Really?
[Ogami]
Don't be silly, we're opening the doors and walking through them like rational steam-powered robot-piloting psychodrivers. I was just being dramatic.
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[Sakura]
Yessir!!
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