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And there goes Ogami, going through all the trouble of dragging Sakura into the locker room.



They could've just spoken in the hallway like they always do, but nooooooooooooooooo, someone had to be innovative.



I swear to god, Ogami just doesn't learn.

[Ogami]

(She looks so sad. This is the first time I've seen Sakura-kun like this...)




...

Y'know, if there's one thing Ogami ever regretted about this incident, it's that he didn't take the time to gawk at her breasts in a completely inappropriate manner.

Regardless, I just wanted to take this moment to toast the game designers of Sakura Wars, along with those who programmed a "breast-gawking trigger" into each and every such point-and-click segment.

Sure, their cause may have been completely fucked up, but hey, they DID take every contingency into account.

[Sakura]

There's something that I can only talk to you about, Ogami-san...


[Ogami]

... about your reaction to the lightning earlier?


[Sakura]

........


----
[Ogami]

I'm going to take a wild guess and figure that I'm on the right track with this line of questioning.

[Sakura]

Yes, but still-- please hear me out, Ogami-san, I need to get this off my chest. I... it might be a weird story, but--

[Ogami]

It's something that happened to you when you were a kid, right? Don't worry, you're not alone, and it's not really all that weird to be afraid of lightning.

[Ogami]

Please spare me the ridiculous flashback and the post-flashback confidence-boosting bout of sexual tension, okay? I've done this twice in a row already, it's kind of tiring.

[Sakura]

........

----

[Sakura]

I... when I was a child, I was something of a tomboy...




----
[Ogami]

Dod gucking fammit.

----

[Sakura]

I used to play with Takeshi-kun, who was a friend that I'd always be fighting with...
One day, even though my grandmother told me not to play outside, I called out Takeshi-kun...
We were climbing trees. Then, the sky suddenly turned pitch dark...


[Takeshi]

Sakura, the lightning god's getting angry! Let's hurry up and hide...


[Sakura]

It's okay! Sakura's not afraid of the lightning god!


----
[Ogami]

And that's where fate just kind of went "oh fuck THAT you little punk," isn't it.

[Sakura]

... you really need to work on your choice of wording, Ogami-san.

----



KRAKOW



[Sakura]

Takeshi! Takeshi! Takeshiiii!




----
[Ogami]

Oh... oh, damn. I'm really sorry to hear th--

----

[Sakura]

The lightning god stole Takeshi-kun's navel.


----
[Ogami]

--pffftggrblghmmmph.

[Ogami]

You're telling ME that I need to work on my phrasing!?

[Sakura]

I KNEW I should've talked to Ayame-san about this.

----

[Ogami]

........
... he was hit by lightning, then?




[Sakura]

After that... I became scared of the lightning god... someday, just like what happened to Takeshi-kun, my navel will be...




[Ogami]

No... but to be honest, I was surprised that you were that shaken up.




... so this entire conversation was an excuse to blush furiously in front of Ogami?

[Ogami]

It's not like that at all. Everyone's got something that they're no good with.


----
[Ogami]

F'r instance, you should probably be explaining this to Sumire, since SHE was the one laughing at you and all.

[Sakura]

Do you think she'll believe me?

[Ogami]

Oh, I'm sure she will, but just to make sure... when you go talk to her, you should totally bring a spider as a gesture of goodwill. Sumire loves spiders.

[Sakura]

O-Okay...

----



Awwww, how sweet. Mm'kay, let's get back to everyone else so that we can actually tell them that we're about to be--



KACHOOOOOOOOM

... horribly fucked over by the demons right now.



[Ogami]

Wh-what!? Uwaaaaah~!!


MEANWHILE.



[Miroku]

Now that I have discovered the Imperial Assault Force's base of operations, it is nothing more than a gaggle of little girls!


It's Miroku!



... and her crazy eye!



----
[Miroku]

Do the words "seven-on-one" mean anything to you?

[Kanna]

Oh, yeah, that's just called "we win 'cause you're a bunch of whiny dumbasses."

[Miroku]

Division of labor. DIVISION OF LABOR.

----



She probably could've figured that out with one glance at Miroku herself.


----

----


[Maria]

The Captain and Sakura will definitely come!


----
[Maria]

Assuming that they're not shagging like rabbits. If they ARE, then we'll have won by default since all levels of hell will have frozen over.

----

[Maria]

Until then, we alone shall defend the Grand Imperial Theater to the death!


[Kanna]

Understood!


[Sumire]

We shall settle what started in Fukagawa!


[Iris]

Iris will do her best, too!


[Kohran]

We went through a lotta trouble gettin' that party set up! I won't forgive ya for ruinin' it!


----
[Maria]

... and the assault on the theater, and the hundreds of innocents that we they have probably killed?

[Kohran]

Eh, theaters an' people are a dime a dozen. Now, the loss of a good party? THAT'S a concept worth sacrificin' yer life for.

----

[Maria]

........
With just five units, we won't be able to hold off this number of enemies for very long.
At this rate... we'll all be done for!


----
[Sumire]

Given that Sakura-san and the Ensign tend to be useless, are we not capable of wiping out an entire battlefield with just the five of us?

[Maria]

Strength in numbers, Sumire. We are nigh unbreakable if the full team's together, but take any one of us out and our performance starts to suffer in an exponential manner.

[Kohran]

Basically, we're like orks.

[Maria]

Well, I, yes, but not nearly as violent or nonsensical.

[Kohran]

... so basically, we're like orks.

[Maria]

... never mind.

----

[Maria]

Captain Ogami... Sakura... come quickly!


Maria's prayer echoed off into the night!



... but nothing happened because Sakura has gone into some sort of spineless vegetative state dammit Sakura.

[Sakura]

A-aah... th-the lightning god is angry...


[Ogami]

Sakura-kun! Get a hold of yourself!!


[Ogami]

(This isn't the sound of thunder... it's the sound of explosions. Don't tell me... the Hive of Darkness has...!?)


----
[Ogami]

(Granted, it could just be Kohran again...)

[Ogami]

(... though if THAT was the case, the theater should've been reduced to a crater by now. Kohran DOES prize quality over quantity, especially where explosions are concerned. And--)

----



KABOOM!

[Ogami]

O-Oh no! Sakura-kun, get down!


----
[Sakura]

But I'm already sitting down, how--

[Ogami]

Don't ask me about those kinds of unnecessary details! I'm the leader here, it's my job to worry about the BIG details, not--

----



[Ogami]

D-Dammit! The entranceway's been blocked off by rubble!


Which isn't THAT huge of an issue, especially since they were lucky enough NOT to have been crushed by rubble. The BIGGER problem is...



... the fact that Ogami is now trapped in a confined space with a psycho-stalker going hysterical.

[Ogami]

... Sakura-kun!
(I've got to calm Sakura-kun down somehow... alright!)




Pshaw, that first option can go screw itself. By avoiding the standard quasi-romantic hugging scene with the game's title character, Ogami is defying fate itself.

[Ogami]

Sakura-kun...




[Ogami]

Everything's going to be alright... I'm here with you.




...

Was there even a point to that last answer choice selection?

[Ogami]

Sakura-kun...


[Sakura]

........!


[Ogami]

Sakura-kun... you don't have to worry about lightning anymore.


[Sakura]

Wh-why!?


----
[Ogami]

Because I'm going to snap your neck like a brittle twig.

[Sakura]

Really?

[Ogami]

No, I've just always wanted to say that at a perfectly dramatic moment.

[Ogami]

Wait, I-- do I even WANT to know why you kept blushing?

[Sakura]

Tee hee.

----

[Ogami]

I'll hug you like this the entire time.
If I keep doing this, the lightning god won't be able to see your navel, Sakura-kun.


That's...

Well, that's the sort of screwball semi-sensible logic that we've come to expect from our wonderful protagonist.

[Sakura]

Heh-- oh, Ogami-san...


[Ogami]

That's right, that's perfectly fine. It'll be alright, I'll be right here with you.


Once again, anything to stop the swordswoman from going utterly berserk in an enclosed space.



[Ogami]

There's absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about something like that.


----
[Ogami]

I mean, look at ME. I come perilously close to pissing my pants anytime one of you girls enters the room without me noticing.

----



[Ogami]

If the thunder ever roars... I'll protect you, along with everyone else in the theater!




[Ogami]

Did you understand?


----
[Sakura]

Wait, how's that supposed to be reassuring if you piss your pants every time one of us steps into the room?

[Ogami]

Well, at least you're calm enough to snark at my gaffes and/or faux pas, so THAT'S something, at least.

[Ogami]

-- waitasec. If you're so scared of thunder and lightning, then what about the fact that my Koubu effectively bleeds electricity out of every goddamn orifice in its body?

[Sakura]

Well, you see, that--

[Sakura]

...

[Ogami]

... and I just opened a gigantic can of worms, didn't I.

[Sakura]

Yes. I see! You were the lightning god all along. Yes. No wonder you exude such... such raw animal magnetism.

[Ogami]

Raw anim-- what. Is it contagious?

[Sakura]

Don't worry, Ogami-san! Yes. I'm no longer afraid of lightning. Yes. I'll... I'll even give you my navel of my own free will!

[Ogami]


Uh, okay, I don't really understand all this, so how's about we leave this conversation until I can find someone who can translate crazy-talk--

[Sakura]

If I'm with you, I fear nothing. Isn't that right...

[Sakura]

... my lord?

[Ogami]

Uh.

----

[Ogami]

... great! In that case, let's think of a way to escape from this locker room.



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