<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index



[Kohran]

...! Shh... it sounds like Sakura-han's come back.


And suddenly, footsteps! ... y'know, AFTER Kohran announces that she hears Sakura coming back, which raises more questions than it answers.

[Sakura]

Whew... I'm completely late...


[Kohran]

(Not yet... wait 'til Sakura-han opens th' door...)


Knock knock!

[Sakura]

Um... it's Sakura. I'm sorry that I'm late.


[Sumire]

(Hmhmhm... at last...)


Speaking of picture-perfect timing...



KRAKATHOOOOOM <---- the sound of lightning and/or thunder. Shut up, bitches don't know about my onomatopoeia

[Maria]

....!? Lightning...?


[Sakura]

Hyah!!


[Ogami]

Huh!? Sakura-kun hasn't even come in yet... what did she just gasp at!?




Naturally, it's worth looking into anything that can scare a person capable of fighting off Wakiji without a robot in case Ogami can harness its power to protect him from everyone in the theater.

[Ogami]

Sakura-kun! What's wrong? Are you okay!?




... and Sakura is just sitting there.



The lightning also flashes every now and then during this scene, which is a nice touch.

[Kohran]

Aw, calm down. You didn't come, so we jes' thought that we'd scare you a little.


[Sakura]

T-the lightning will... s-steal my navel!


















[this blank space reserved for those who need to re-read the above sentence. No, you did not misread it.]

Getting your bellybutton stolen by lightning is apparently an old wives' tale, though I'm hazy on the details myself.

... I couldn't think of an equivalent phrase in English-- at least, I couldn't think of anything that had the same wtf-ery level impact-- so I left the translation as-is. And now, back to our story!

[Sumire]

Hah...?


[Maria]

Sakura, are you... are you serious?


Take comfort in the fact that everyone else is probably sharing your reaction. But before we can probe any deeper into this bizarre phobia...

Bing bing bing bong~!

[Yuri]

Ensign Ogami. Ensign Ogami. Commander Yoneda is calling for you. Please go down to the command room.


[Ogami]

Dammit, now of all times...


[Maria]

Captain, Commander Yoneda is calling. Please go downstairs to the command room.




[Ogami]

B-but... I can't just leave Sakura-kun like this!


Because what we need right now is a badass demon-destroying swordswoman, not a basket case.

[Maria]

Captain!! Please, just leave this to us.


[Sumire]

Even so... to be scared of something like lightning, even though you're certainly able to fight in a "Koubu"!


[Iris]

Even Iris is scared of lightning!


[Kanna]

Sakura is probably... remembering some really scary memories from when she was young, huh.


Just like every fucking person in this brigade.

----
[Ogami]

... can you guys can handle this without Sakura-kun, y'know, breaking under the weight of your mockery and/or horrible attempts at soothing her fears?

[Maria]

Oh, indubitably.

[Maria]

Now, if we're going to break her phobia, we should lock her in a room filled with lightning to get her used to it...

[Kohran]

Oh, I've been thinkin' that somethin' like this might turn up, so I prepared jes' th' thing!

[Ogami]

... ha ha. No, seriously, are you SURE that you guys can handle this?

----

[Maria]

..........


----
[Ogami]

Alright, fine, I'm going, I'm going...

----



Leaving Sakura to her uncertain fate...



... let's see what's gotten the head honchos riled up.

[Ogami]

Ogami, present!


[Yoneda]

So you've come, Ogami!


----
[Yoneda]

Now, you shall prove your worth as the Flower Division's Captain. Ogami! Over a pit of raging lava... you will fight me! TO THE DEATH!!

[Ayame]

*Whisper whisper whisper.*

[Yoneda]

Oh, whoops, we actually got that scheduled for next week. Never mind, m'boy.

[Ogami]

... you guys have too much goddamn free time on your hands.

----

[Yoneda]

Our steam-powered computers have finally determined the Hive of Darkness's ultimate goal!


In the face of such a momentous occasion-- a revelation, in fact, that will alter the course of history-- this is a time for level heads and rational thinking.



... but we're having none of that.

[Ogami]

What did you say!? How in the world did you do it!?


[Ayame]

In other words, we've discerned that they definitely leave behind a strange machine following each of their assaults.


Man, this is what happens when you let a computer do all your thinking; we've seen the Hive of Darkness stuff demonic drills into the ground since the very first battle, and we JUST NOW HAVE FIGURED THAT THIS ACT MIGHT BE SUSPICIOUS.

[Ogami]

A machine...?


[Yoneda]

Mm... it's this.




... now I'm having flashbacks to those old green-screened Apple computers that we used to have in school.



[Ogami]

And this is?


[Yoneda]

It's an ancient vessel of worship that's been entrusted to the Kanei Temple in Ueno... we just call it the "Kusabi".


Also known as linchpin!

[Ogami]

Kanei Temple...? Is there a connection between the Kanei Temple and the Hive of Darkness?


[Ayame]

The person who established Kanei Temple was... Archbishop Tenkai. The leader of the Hive of Darkness...


[Ogami]

Tenkai!


[Ayame]

Look at this...




----
[Ogami]

... amazing. It's a bunch of red dots.

----

[Ayame]

The red dots are the locations of the machines that we had discovered in our investigations... Shiba, Tsukiji, Asakusa, Kudanshita, and Fukagawa.
If we add Hibiya Park, a location that our steam-powered computers have predicted, to this map...




----
[Ogami]

My god... a blue dot! SCRAMBLE! SCRAMBLE!!

----



----
[Ogami]

CONNECT THE DOTS!? Those Hive of Darkness bastards!

[Ayame]

... you can lay off the scathing sarcasm now, Ogami-kun, I'll be explaining what this all means in just a few moments.

[Ogami]

You're no fun.

----

[Ogami]

This is!?


[Ayame]

The completion of a sorcerous incantation that will envelop the Imperial Capital!


[Yoneda]

If this incantation is completed... the Imperial Capital will undoubtedly fall under the demons' control!




[Yoneda]

The heavens shall be torn asunder, the earth shall split-- every calamity that they could think to unleash will occur, and the Imperial Capital will be plunged ito an eternal hell!




[Ogami]

M... my God!


----
[Ogami]

In other words, you guys have no fucking idea what it'll do.

[Ayame]

... well...

[Yoneda]

Look, Ogami... an epic JRPG-style revelation without any sort of melodramatics whatsoever? We'd get laughed right outta the Imperial Capital!

[Ayame]

In other words, Ogami-kun, hush up and just take our ridiculous explanation at face value.

[Ogami]

Fine, fine...

----



If a demonic man-spirit with a trillion tons of destructive magical energy introduced himself as Mickey Mouse and started blowing the everloving shit out of the capital, I'd kind of be more worried about the trillion tons than the name.

[Ayame]

However, to him and others like him, we are insolent creatures who are corrupting the Imperial Capital with our absorption of Western culture.




[Yoneda]

Understand? Their machinations... we must prevent them from being carried out, no matter what!


[Ogami]

Yessir!


[Yoneda]

According to the predictions of our steam-powered computers, the next targeted site will most likely be... Hibiya Park.
Ogami, you and the rest of the Flower Division are to remain prepared for deployment into battle at any moment!!


[Ogami]

Understood!!


Well, never you mind the fact that we've never managed to arrive at the scene of a battle BEFORE the Hive of Darkness completes their preparatory linchpin thing... Ogami moves out to spread the news to the rest of the gang!



... at his own incredibly slow pace.

If the theater has a PA system, why didn't they just broadcast this to EVERYONE, for chrissakes? I'm sure that any passerby who overhear all that classified information can be disposed of in a reasonably painless manner.

[Ogami]

To destroy the Imperial Capital with sorcerous incantations... damn you, Hive of Darkness... what in the world are you thinking!?
The Flower Division have to get prepared for battle...
Come to think of it... whatever happened to Sakura-kun after all that...?




Whoop.



[Sakura]

May I... speak with you for a moment?


Well, I'm assuming that she managed to slip her bonds or whatever the rest of the Flower Division was using to keep her from going on an insane phobia-induced rage.

[Ogami]

..........
(Sakura-kun...)




So, Ogami does what any other rational human being would do, dragging his most persistent stalker into the isolated lockers.


NEXT TIME: 1) Oh god oh god oh holy fucking shit oh god, and 2) SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT AAAAAAAH--


<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index