<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index



All the fetch quests are done, the preparations are over with, and everyone is in position.

And now, we can finally see the fruits of their our labor! Ladies and Kanna, indeterminably-gendered spineless man-boys of all ages! Let the Imperial Assault Force Flower Division's party...



... begin! First and foremost, uh, Kohran is, um, holy shit Kohran.

... I'll cover her later. Unsurprisingly, Kanna is stuffing her face with what appears to be a chicken leg! She's only getting warmed up, I'm sure.

[Kanna]

Captain! You're late to the...


[Kanna]

... mgmgmph! W-water...


[Sumire]

Honestly, this is precisely why ill-mannered people are so troublesome...


----
[Kanna]

Choking on food? During a party? What... what on Earth have I come to?

[Sumire]

K-Kanna-san? Are you... are you alright?

[Kanna]

Aw, man, and I'd usually be on my fifth chicken by now... welp, nothing for it, I'd better cut myself dead to make up for my lost honor and all.

[Sumire]

Wha-- put that knife away, you are not committing ritual suicide over a piddly little chicken bone!

[Kanna]

Ha ha, just kidding! What, you think that I'd actually cut myself?

[Sumire]

Well, no, I-- Ensign, why do you look completely unsurprised?

[Ogami]

Well... I figured that it'd take more than a kitchen knife to even leave a mark on Kanna.

[Kanna]

Alright, now that THAT'S over with, I'm gonna make up for lost ti--

[Maria]

No inhaling everything off the table like Kirby, Kanna. Remember what happened last time?

[Ogami]

Y-yeah, remember? You ended up consuming Manager Yoneda whole, and--

[Maria]

He wouldn't stop rolling out the innuendo for weeks.

[Kanna]

Yeah, okay, fine, I'll eat food the normal way.

----

[Kohran]

Captain, howzis? This's a four thousand year old secret technique from th' continent! ... there!!


And now, back to Kohran holy shit Kohran! There's the sound of spinning dishes-- thankfully, without any shattering whatsoever.

[Kohran]

I figured that somethin' like this'd happen, so I'd been practicin'. Aw~right, an' another one!




What else CAN we do in the face of such badass tricks?

[Ogami]

Whoa! That's amazing, Kohran! When did you learn something like this!?


[Kohran]

Yer too soft, Ogami-han! Us Chinese people're born knowin' somethin' as easy as this!


[Ogami]

I... is that so? Anyways, this is amazing!


----
[Kohran]

Actually, down in China, we're all born knowin' pretty much everythin', ranging from martial arts to mecha-buildin'.

[Ogami]

Holy shit, really!?

[Sumire]

... don't tell me that you believe her, Ensign.

[Ogami]

H-hey, come on, now, you have to admit that it IS more plausible than everything we've put up with on a daily basis, so...

[Sumire]

Or you are just stupidly gullible, Ensign.

[Maria]

Hush, it's one of his more endearing traits, Sumire. He IS easier to manage this way.


[Kohran]

Yeah, wanna see me run along th' wall and disembowel Iris with a pair o' chopsticks?

[Ogami]

Sweet!

[Maria]

Correction: he WOULD be endearing we weren't all such bad influences on him.

----

[Kohran]

Hey now, you're makin' me blush with that much confidence... I can do stuff like this, too! Hoi!


[Ogami]

Whoa! The plates split into mirror images!


[Kohran]

Right! Th' shrimp-an'-plate-spinnin' trick-- followed by! The disappearing plate-spinnin' trick!!


[Ogami]

Hmmm, this is getting pretty incredible...


----
[Ogami]

I just hope that you have a way to replace the plates you spirited away.

[Kohran]

Don't worry 'bout it, all I gotta do is do th' Double Team trick to make more plates! ... there!!

[Ogami]

WOW! MORE MIRROR IMAGES!!

[Sumire]

M-Maria-san...

[Maria]

Leave him be, Sumire. Just be thankful that Kohran isn't fleecing him out of his money.

----

[Kohran]

'Cause of what ya told me earlier, Ogami-han, I've gained th' will t' try these tricks out!


[Kohran]

Thanks a bunch, Ogami-han. Really, I'm jes' glad that I was able t' make ya happy.


Because fulfilling Ogami's wish and dreams is the ultimate thing that any woman could ever ask for?

[Sumire]

Kohran! I'll be adding plates that we've finished with!


I love how EVERYONE takes all of Kohran's Ogami-directed super-praise in stride probably because they've all been there before.

... and there's the fact that Kohran is now in charge of handling the dirty dishes.

[Iris]

Hey hey Kohran, spin some cups, too~!


[Kanna]

How 'bout you let loose and challenge yourself by spinning pots!?


[Kohran]

A'right! I'll spin anythin' from pots to guns! Bring 'em on~!


[Maria]

Everyone, it's fine to cut loose every now and then, but you're not allowed to drag this out until tomorrow.


[Kanna]

Now, now, we don't get to party like this often, so let's do this with a bang! WITH A BANG!


[Maria]

Fine, fine.


----
[Ogami]

Aren't you at all worried about Kohran trying to balance and spin loaded guns on those thin little--

[Maria]

...

[Ogami]

Right, forgot who I was talking to for a moment there.

[Iris]

Just do what I do, Oniichan!

[Iris]

Try to predict how many people will be dead by morning. It'll pass the time, Oniichan~!

[Ogami]

Well, that's an improvement from the usual, and it IS a nice passive little hobby to boot, so I guess that's--

[Iris]

I meant worldwide, Oniichan.

[Ogami]

...

[Ogami]

Why don't those goddamn parenting magazines ever cover these sorts of situations?

----



Kohran takes a break from spinning plates into oblivion another dimension, and we're treated to a nice little slice-of-life party scene with nice little happy conversations about--



-- things that Sumire is still butthurt about.

[Sumire]

Why must I be the Demon Woman?




Holy shit,


----


----
[Kohran]

I mean, it's not like this's different from any OTHER of th' roles that you've played--

[Sumire]

I KILL YOU.

----

[Ogami]

Ha ha ha. Well, these kinds of parties ARE perfect for getting swept up in conversations.




[Ogami]

Okay, aa~aah...


----
[Ogami]

Wait, what the hell did you just put into my mouth?

[Iris]

...

[Iris]

It might be better if you think of this situation in terms of what I COULD have put into your mouth, Oniichan, so that it's not nearly as scary when I eventually reveal what I--

[Ogami]

Never mind, I'll just have to remember to ask this question BEFORE I let you feed me stuff. O-oh god, I think I taste blood.

----


----


[Kohran]

... we're outta stuff over on this side, too. I see, 's all the things that Sakura-han was shoppin' for.


----
[Ogami]

Way to go, guys, starting the party before we even got the goddamn drinks.

[Maria]

To be fair, this IS fairly typical for us. I'm more worried that we forgot about Sakura--

[Ogami]

-- holy shit, that's right, Sakura isn't here! I was WONDERING why there weren't any psychotically jealous retaliations to Iris spoon-feeding me stuff.

[Maria]

... correction: now I'm just worried about the Flower Division's leadership.

----


----

----


Foreshadowing? Perish the thought! It's just the game's way of telling us that it's time for us to feel sorry for poor forgotten Sakura.

Also, that we should be pointing and laughing at her plight.

[Sumire]

... an evening shower, I see. Perhaps she's simply been slowed down by this rain?


Clearly, this is everyone's cue to start feeling sorry for Sakura and unleash the PWER UF FRINDSHEEP to make up for her getting horribly soaked in the rain because we all feel sorry for her and because she is our cherished friend.


----

----


... Kohran quickly reminds us that we're talking about the Flower Division here.



And that no matter what happens, it will not change the fact that we are all gigantic dicks. It's about time that we all got back in touch with our inner asshole!

Whatever WOULD we do without you, Kohran?

[Ogami]

That's great! Let's do it. That sounds like it'll make a pretty funny sideshow.


By "funny," he means "I like watching Sakura cry."



And so does Iris. Finally, something that Ogami and Iris have in common!


----


----
[Ogami]

Not that I'm complaining, but isn't this where you get really angry and commander-like and command us to stop doing this kind of moronic shit?

[Maria]

Well...

----

[Kanna]

Well, we'll all just have to apologize to her when the time comes. It's ultimately a spot of fun, so...


----
[Maria]

Ha ha ha, I see nothing wrong with this line of thinking whatsoever. I APPROVE!

[Ogami]

yaaaaay

----

[Sumire]

Hm... you are all such impatient people. Honestly...




Man, and we JUST FINISHED one set of fetch quests in the name of preparing for the party, we'd better not be--



Oh, thank god.



Eh, it's kind of underwhelming.

[Kohran]

... right, turn off th' lights.




... granted, this completely changes things.

Is it just me, or is Kohran-- Kohran, who doesn't even NEED a costume-- the most frightening person here?

[Sumire]

... the rain is still coming down, I see.


[Iris]

Iris is getting kind of excited, somehow...




... and time passes.


<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index