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[Ogami]
... well.
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[Ogami]
I'd cherish this all-too-rare moment of peace and quiet if it didn't highlight the depressing fact that I am so very alone.
[Ogami]
... I mean, sure, they DO shower me with enough attention and enough tough love to rupture the more unspeakable orifices in my anatomy, and there's that whole connecting-on-a-spiritual-level thing, and everyone's kind of hot in their own vaguely disturbing ways, but...
[Ogami]
Fuck it! All these people do is use me! I'll show them that I'm not so starved for attention that I'll gladly latch onto their, their, their sadistic ways and their horrible abuse!
[Ogami]
This is my chance to rebel! If THEY can take up an entire chapter to develop their character and personalities, then I can, too! I'll show everyone the error of their ways!! I'll--
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[Ogami]
Sumire-kun!?
[Ogami]
Y-you didn't forget about me?
[Sumire]
Of course not, you silly goose. Now come here and get down to your hands and feet so that I may use your back as a chair, I simply cannot be bothered to walk all the way to the chairs over there.
[Ogami]
S-someone appreciates me.
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[Ogami]
What's up, Sumire-kun?
[Ogami]
Of course. I can certainly do that.
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[Ogami]
Yaaaay, someone needs me!
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[Ogami]
Wait a second, you just want to use me as manual labor because you're too lazy to--
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[Ogami]
--scubblewubbleschlorp.
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[Ogami]
Well, that's an honor... right, let's get to the dressing room.
[Sumire]
Yes... let's be off.
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Suddenly, props which, uh.
...
[Sumire]
These are props from when we were performing "Seventh Heaven." A sword and shield, and a crown.
If you don't find your gaze immediately drawn to a point a few centimeters below the item pictures, then you're a stronger person than I.
[Sumire]
This prop was also used for "Seventh Heaven." It is a wig for Kohran, who played the part of a maid.
[Ogami]
Where should I return these to?
[Sumire]
These are all used in the theater, so perhaps they should go to the costume room or the props room.
----
[Ogami]
So the sword, shield, and crown go to the props room, and--
[Sumire]
What? No, the sword and shield are gifts of goodwill, Ensign. Do not forget to "Equip" your weapons and armor-- press "Select" to access the menu screen.
[Ogami]
Buh?
[Sumire]
You know full well what I am talking about! Your journey shall be long and arduous, Ensign, and you may be forced to grind levels on unusually large rodents, theater guests, or Kanna-san. So--
[Ogami]
No, I meant that... you honestly think that a sword and a shield will be enough to keep me safe from everything that roams the theater?
[Sumire]
Well, the sight of you clomping around with prop weapons should give you enough time to flee while your opponents laugh themselves silly.
[Ogami]
Well, okay, but everyone already laughs at me, so I don't see what difference it'll--
[Sumire]
... just nod, smile, and go on off already, Ensign.
----
[Ogami]
... I see. Right, I'll see you in a bit.
[Sumire]
I'll leave you to it, then.
It doesn't take too long for Ogami to reach his first destination.
In the meantime, I'll...
... skip the often repetitious...
... "I am now narrating the fact that I am now putting props on the floor! Whew, now I'm going to narrate the fact that I am now finished, yaaaaay 
" dialogue.
Final destination.
All Fox, no CPUs, no stage hazards.
Items on.
Now that we've finished with the fetch quests, it's time to report back to Sumire and--
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
Wasn't I only gone for, like, two minutes? How--
[Sumire]
Well, you see, Ensign--
[Iris]
Yaaay, it's Oniichan!
[Ogami]
Oh, okay. Iris happened.
[Sumire]
N-no, Ensign, I just did my best.
[Iris]
Iris only got here after Sumire finished!
[Ogami]
Nope, you don't need to explain anything! Iris broke the universe again in some humorous manner and got the decorations finished in an inhuman amount of time, I completely understand.
[Sumire]
No, I honestly-- ... forget it.
----
[Ogami]
Hey, Sumire-kun and Iris. How are the preparations coming along?
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[Ogami]
Ha ha ha, good work, Iris!
[Iris]
But Iris didn't actually do anything! This time.
[Sumire]
... Ensign, is it honestly that difficult to believe that I could do this on my own?
[Ogami]
Look, everyone has a special power, and it's a well-known fact that you specialize in being a lazy tit.
[Sumire]
WHAT did you say!?
[Ogami]
... well, okay, "a pair of tits" would probably be more accurate, but--
[Sumire]
Nevermind.
----
[Ogami]
Man oh man, I finally finished just now.
...
... yeah, Ogami really has no right to rag on Sumire about being a lazy tit. 
[Sumire]
Yes. All that is left to do is to wait for the party to begin, I see.
Ensign, please go check on how the others are doing.
Translation: This scene's done, go trigger another character-specific scene Go bug someone else.
[Ogami]
Got it. I'll go do that.
Me, I'm more worried about what Maria's up to in the kitchen.
[Ogami]
You said that you were cooking something for the party, right, Maria?
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[Ogami]
Cooking up A BARREL OF PAIN, PERHAPS!?
[Maria]
... no, Captain.
[Ogami]
Man, no flair for the dramatic.
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Haha, you're telling me... I have enough problems making food for one.
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[Ogami]
Granted, my skill with cooking doesn't amount to much. I'd be glad if I could be of some use.
Later, Maria would realize that assuming that Ogami's help would SAVE her a lot of trouble was uncharacteristically naive of her.
I mean, it WAS established last chapter that all the man KNOWS about cooking is that LOVE IS ALL-POWERFUL.
[Maria]
Thank you very much! I will be the one dealing with the recipe, so please don't worry!
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[Ogami]
Great! I'm happier when I don't have to think.
[Maria]
Oh, Captain, you and your jokes.
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
(Holy shit, she's perky and cheerful and not trying to chomp my balls off.)
[Ogami]
(... she probably has a fever or something. Poor girl.)
----
[Ogami]
Maria, what should I do?
[Maria]
I'm planning to cook something called "borscht"...
[Maria]
As expected, Captain. So you know of it.
[Ogami]
I haven't actually seen or eaten the real deal before, though.
----
[Ogami]
I'd just... y'know, eaten soup that may or may not have resembled borscht in a multitude of different yet passingly superficial ways.
[Maria]
You were guessing again, weren't you.
[Ogami]
Look, do you honestly believe that your average not-born-in-Russia-at-all person would know anything about Russian cuisine!?
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[Maria]
I'm looking forward to what sort of stew we will end up with.
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[Maria]
Preferably, we shall end up with something palatable and vaguely soup-like in texture.
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[Ogami]
Eeh!? That wasn't what you'd said. Weren't you going to be telling me how to do the cooking!?
[Maria]
At any rate, it is because we're cooking for many people. If we do not divide up the labor...
[Ogami]
That's true... but just as long as I don't fail horribly.
I...
I was GOING to say "not if it kills them!", but then I remembered just what kind of women we're dealing with here. 
[Maria]
Now, Captain. Let us do our best to cook up something delicious!
Yay!
... yeah, I just can't shake the vague feeling that Maria's gotten a lobotomy or something. 
[Maria]
First... please deal with these potatoes.
Probably because your day job and your entire fucking fighting style are so focused on cutting things that you have an honorary master's degree in cutting things. 
Anyways, getting this task out of the way isn't particularly difficult.
... though he's obscenely proud of his masterwork.
[Maria]
They've been cut into good-looking shapes... it's as if they were cut by a famous chef.
It. It's just cutting potatoes, Maria.
Granted, if all Ogami has left is "look at me, I can cut potatoes! 
" and he's saying that with a glazed look in his eyes, then maybe it's best to humor the poor bastard. 
[Ogami]
Heheheh... thanks. It's because back when I was in the navy... we made curry pretty often.
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[Ogami]
The seasoning... of PAIN!
[Maria]
Seriously, will you just stop?
[Ogami]
Aw, c'mon, you can't just leave random ellipses lying around like that, you've got to use them properly! Strut your stuff!!
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Yes, the quotation marks were present in the original. It's as if she expects Ogami to just kind of stare at her and go--
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[Ogami]
Ketchup? What the fuck is ketchup?
[Maria]
It's a type of condiment made from tomatoes, Captain.
[Ogami]
... that doesn't sound very hygienic.
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[Maria]
I'll be making the ingredients for the pirozhki, so... I shall leave the seasoning to you.
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[Ogami]
Man, I wonder what Maria's up to.
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[Ogami]
I've never heard of pirozhki before! Sure, it's foreign and it might make us all go crazy and do crazy foreign things at each other, but it still sounds interesting.
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[Ogami]
Then again, I've never been much of a bread person myself, it's mostly rice farmers where I come from.
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[Ogami]
I still remember that kid next door who wanted to be a baker. Hah, those were the days! I--
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[Maria]
Can't you find... the "ketchup"? It should be on that shelf.
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[i][Ogami]
-- never knew that you could have spiritually-powerful bakers! What was his power called again? Solar hands? Oh, right, seasoning. Eh, "ketchup" can gently caress itself.
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[Ogami]
Here, it's gotta be... well, a borscht with miso might taste pretty good.
... clearly, Ogami is to chefs what Frankenstein was to scientists.
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