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Anyways, it's time to visit Yoneda. We should talk to him about possibly giving Ogami a break before the poor bastard snaps and goes on a murderous ticket-clipping spree yet again.
Steam-powered computers, huh.
I'm kind of afraid to ask "What ISN'T steam-powered in this world?", if only because the list would be worryingly short. It's only a matter of time before we have steam-powered food, steam-powered clothes...
And, perhaps in a few years, steam-powered cyborgs, which would put one helluva creepy spin on Kohran's dream of people and robots being born to support each other. 
----
[Ogami]
Hey, Kohran, how's it--
[Ogami]
-- SUFFERIN' SHOGEIMARU, KOHRAN, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!?
[Kohran]
Hey, Ogami-han, I've switched out all my fleshy bits with badass robot bits, an' I've done th' same to everyone else! Now get over here an' bend over, you'll thank me later.
[Ogami]
N-no! Stay aw-- GYAAAAAAAH!!
----
[Yoneda]
Oh, I see. "Kusabi"-- linchpins, huh? ... right, we'll try adding that data to our current steam-powered computers.
The people in the Flower Division...? They said that they'll be throwing a party or something. They'll be fine.
... hm, don't worry about it, we'll get results. Now then...
[Ogami]
Huh...? Commander Yoneda in the middle of a phone call, it seems...
----
[Ogami]
Hmm. Maybe I should back out and leave Yoneda to finish his serious-sounding phone call; interrupting such an important conversation may have horrible consequences for the defense of Japan.
[Ogami]
...
----
----
[Ogami]
Ha ha screw that, it is a door, it was made to be knocked, I WILL KNOCK IT.
----
[Ogami]
It's Ogami... could we talk for a moment?
[Yoneda]
Yeah, sure. C'mon in.
----
[Ogami]
Um...
Times like these make me wonder if Yoneda's whole drunken-old-man routine is actually a fabricated facade that's meant to take everyone off guard.
... and then I remember all those other times where Yoneda was actually drunk, which are more than enough to put this debate to rest.
[Yoneda]
More importantly, you guys... you're throwin' a party, right?
[Ogami]
Eh...?
Ogami thought about how to respond for a moment. He could be a courteous young man and either invite his boss to the party or make polite conversation...
... or he could be someone who knew full well what kind of person Yoneda is and answer accordingly. 
[Ogami]
... there won't be any alcohol.
----
[Yoneda]
I mean, it's BOUND to have hookers too, right?
[Ogami]
... Manager, please think for just a second about the people who will be holding this party.
[Yoneda]
Oh, sure, Maria's a stick in the mud about these kinds of things, but if KANNA'S gonna have a part in it, I'm sure that she's--
[Ogami]
She's a woman, Manager.
[Yoneda]
Pshaw, well, yeah, but she's still man enough to appreciate a good set of melons and a familiarity with swinging around on one of them poles and...
[Ogami]
I can't believe I'm having this conversation.
----
[Ogami]
No... that's not what I meant, but...
[Yoneda]
It's fine, it's fine. Well... I already got some plans that'll take me out of the theater anyways, so.
----
[Ogami]
You lucky bastard, TAKE ME WITH YOU.
[Ogami]
I... I haven't been outside the theater and unsupervised since... I can't even remember when!!
[Yoneda]
I'd be with you.
[Ogami]
The difference is, you aren't trying to break me if I even talk to another woman or hit on me or surprise me in the most horrific ways possible.
[Yoneda]
... d'you want me t--
[Ogami]
FUCK NO.
----
[Yoneda]
Either way, I ain't gonna be able to join the party. You guys just have fun without me, alright?
[Ogami]
Is that so... well, we'll definitely invite you to the next party.
Assuming that there even IS a next party.
...
----
[Yoneda]
It's called "I gots a bottle of alcohol on my desk that hasn't been emptied yet, so make like a leaf and go away."
----
[Ogami]
Right... understood. Now then, please excuse me.
And that's it for that. Now, let's see who's baaaaawing in the Dressing Room.
It's Sumire! Well, she's either about to look horrifically surprised, or she's--
[Sumire]
P-pffft... E-Ensign, I must excuse myself here... mmmmph.
-- trying her best not to laugh her ass off as she flees the scene.
O... kay. 
Let's see what Tsubaki has to say.
...
G-good god.
I KNEW that this scene was coming, I was PREPARED to whip out something along the lines of "Why so serious!?" because it'd have been way too easy, but there's not much I can do when I'm snickering like 
and just staring like 
.
[Ogami]
Kya!! ... wh-what, what happened, Tsubaki-chan!?
[Tsubaki]
Uwaaaaah, Ogami-sa~n! Even though I followed Sumire-san's instructions to the letter, my face... my face~!!
----
[Ogami]
It's melting!?
[Tsubaki]
N-no! It's not! It's just--
[Ogami]
Because I'm having trouble focusing on your face due to my eyes kind of skittering away and refusing to gaze upon the hilariously clownish application of makeup that looks so bizarre on you, and--
[Tsubaki]
UWAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
[Ogami]
... maybe that was the wrong thing to say.
----
[Ogami]
Tsubaki-chan... just stay still, I'll wipe that make-up off for you.
----
That's funny, Ogami can't seem to get the rest of that rouge off of Tsubaki's face. I wonder why. 
[Tsubaki]
I wonder if I just won't be able to become pretty at all...
[Ogami]
Tsubaki-chan...
As with all such questions...
The only correct choice is to answer with a ludicrous and completely unnecessary amount of HOT-BLOODED COURAGE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
[Ogami]
That's not it at all!!
[Tsubaki]
O-Ogami-san!?
[Ogami]
Beauty is a mirror that reflects what's inside. You won't become pretty just by decorating your outward appearance.
[Ogami]
Have a little more confidence in yourself, Tsubaki-chan. That is the shortest route to becoming pretty.
We can add "knows everything about inner beauty and true beauty and non-exterior beauty," and he's perfectly qualified to counsel teenage girls about how they shouldn't be pressured to drastically change their personalities and/or exterior appearances just to satisfy society's preconceived perceptions of beauty, etc.
... once again, WCIOD? 
[Tsubaki]
Ogami-san... that's true. I'll do my best!!
[Tsubaki]
Thank you very much, Ogami-san.
I... thought that if I put on make-up, I could become pretty, just like that.
But... that was wrong, wasn't it. Thanks to you, Ogami-san, I understand now!
Well, THAT little teenage girl dilemma only took about fifteen seconds to solve.
[Ogami]
Truly beautiful people don't just put on make-up; maybe they simply allow their inner selves to shine.
----
[Tsubaki]
Even if that beautiful person's inner self is an asshole, like Sumire-san?
[Ogami]
Especially if that person's inner self is an asshole, like Sumire-kun.
[Ogami]
Bonus points if that person is all domineering AND would look good in a dominatrix outfit, like Sumire-kun.
[Tsubaki]
... you probably shouldn't have included that last sentence, Ogami-san.
----
[Ogami]
Aah, I'm looking forward to it.
Now that we've brought a Happy End! upon this little character-building arc, it's time to move on to greener pastures and solve the problems of other damsels in distress!
Well, that and we gotta move onto the next scene 'cause our five minutes is up.
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