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Well, somehow, it worked: Iris would be off doing god knows what, leaving Ogami free to enjoy an hour or so of relatively worry-free peace. And hey, since Iris ran off into town, at least she wouldn't be able to jump out from behind a corner and drag him out on that date.
Ogami figured that he'd have time to find a good hiding spot before she got back to the theater.
Well, there aren't any sounds of Kanna exercising or of her playfully shattering someone's bones with a hearty slap on the back, so it should be safe to go take a look-see!
----
[Ogami]
I'd always assumed that you were allergic to sunlight or to fresh air.
[Kasumi]
Unlike you, SOME of us are burdened with secretarial work that keeps us inside the theater most of the time.
[Ogami]
You KNOW that making the rounds and patrolling the theater isn't all that's cracked up to be, either. I mean, didn't you see that big bloodstain on your way out here? That was--
[Kasumi]
I'm sorry, Ogami-san... what bloodstain?
[Ogami]
... buh?
[Kasumi]
Well, if it was actually a bloodstain, this would explain why part of the carpet had been torn up. It's usually best to replace the carpet when there's a lot of blood, you know.
[Ogami]
Someone actually-- did you see WHO tore it up?
[Kasumi]
Sakura did, I believe. She was in the process of bringing the dirtied carpet upstairs when I passed--
[Ogami]
... WHY was she bringing it upstairs?
[Kasumi]
I assumed that she was going to put it in the attic for now and throw it out later. I mean, what else is she going to do with it? Hang it up in her room?
[Ogami]
Well...
--
[Sakura]
Hehehe... with this, I'm one step closer to Ogami-san...
--
[Ogami]
... you'd be surprised.
----
[Kasumi]
Ah, Ogami-san! Actually, I was thinking of planting a flowerbed here in the courtyard.
A little while back, we received Cosmos seeds from some guests, so...
Just as long as the gift-giving wasn't immediately preceded by the phrase "I'd plant MY seeds in YOUR flowerbed anytime of the week, baby" or something along those lines.
Though one DOES have to wonder exactly how much the three girls of the theater get hit on. 
[Ogami]
Heh, that's nice.
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
Wait. WHAT seeds?
[Kasumi]
Cosmos seeds. They're--
[Ogami]
What? Bullshit, there's no such thing as a cosmos plant.
[Kasumi]
Hold on a second.
[Kasumi]
See?
[Ogami]
... no fucking way.
----
----
[Ogami]
Alright, so what do we have to work with?
[Kasumi]
Well...
[Ogami]
... uh.
[Kasumi]
I borrowed this seed box from Kohran... she had been using it for a while.
[Ogami]
The seeds with eyes and the bio-engineered skull-shaped fruit are a dead giveaway, yes.
----
----
[Ogami]
I think the round seeds look more like Cosmos seeds.
----
[Kasumi]
You're pulling all this out of your ass, aren't you?
[Ogami]
Yes, but they also look the least likely to kill us all in our sleep. They don't have eyes. Besides YOU were the one who couldn't remember what the Cosmos seeds looked like, right?
[Kasumi]
I have a short memory when it comes to things that frighten the living daylights out of me, yes.
----
----
[Ogami]
The eyes did it for you too, huh?
[Kasumi]
... yeah.
----
So we planted some seeds. It's just that we have no fucking clue what'll come out.
[Kasumi]
Ogami-san... if it's alright with you, would you be willing to watch over them with me until they bloom into flowers?
----
[Kasumi]
I mean, you deserve half the responsibility in helping to bring about whatever Cthulian horrors may or may not erupt from this soil later.
[Ogami]
... when you put it like THAT, why the hell DID we plant these things in the first place?
----
... and what else could you say to a smile like that? "Bugger this for a lark, I'm going to go do something more productive, like get a wrench shoved up my ass sideways"?
Ogami went on to shoot the breeze with Tsubaki for a little while.
[Ogami]
H, heh...
And by "shoot the breeze," I mean "sit still and trying to find an opportunity to flee because it's kind of scary how she's talking about the woman she idolizes as a goddess."
----
[Ogami]
Are you SURE you aren't related to Sakura?
[Tsubaki]
... why does everyone keep asking me that?
[Ogami]
It's... it's the hair.
----
(Ker-flashback!)
[Tsubaki]
Wow... thank you so much! I'll read it very carefully.
(End Flashback!)
[Ogami]
T-Tsubaki-chan...
----
[Ogami]
I think this is less of a gesture of friendship than it is an attempt to make you so bored that you die. I mean... "War and Peace."
[Tsubaki]
But... but Maria-san touched the book! With this, I'm one step closer to Maria-san...
[Ogami]
...
----
[Ogami]
I'm so envious... that you'd be such good friends with Maria that you'd borrow things from each other...
Just nod and smile, Ogami. Nod and smile.
[Tsubaki]
Up until that point, she couldn't really talk about anything besides work.
Ogami-san, I've got to thank you!
[Ogami]
Hahah... I really didn't do all that much...
----
[Ogami]
I mean, it was MARIA who got her fool self captured and forced to almost relive her most traumatic experience ever.
[Tsubaki]
I know! I've got to thank you for breaking her mind and making her more friendly!
[Ogami]
I, uh... can I just buy a bromide now?
----
Ogami just managed to flee before Tsubaki could muster up her fangirl rage and assault him for trying to take her beloved Maria-san away.
----
Shockingly...
[Yoneda]
Hello? ... even so, I've been telling you this repeatedly!
... with regards to that incident, we must have submitted the written report to you already.
The old man isn't drunk off his ass.
[Yoneda]
The allegation that Maria Tachibana used her Koubu without permission is not at all true. That was a diversionary tactic that I had devised.
Maria followed my orders, and defeated one of the leaders behind the Hive of Darkness. If you look at the results, there is not a single problem...
[Yoneda]
... investigative committee? Aah, let them do as they like.
However, you be sure to tell them this one thing: I have no intention of letting them bring Maria Tachibana in for questioning.
Ikki Yoneda: motherfucking badass.
And you thought I was kidding about all those government cover-ups.
[Ogami]
Manager...
[Ogami]
Urk...
... wait, there's a third choice:
...
It's also the one true choice. 
[Ogami]
Meow~.
[Yoneda]
... Ogami, huh.
[Ogami]
Meow!?
[Yoneda]
... you can knock that off now. Don't say a word of what I've just been talking about to anyone else.
----
[Yoneda]
... because I have a tape recorder here, and if you don't want your stupid catcalls to get disseminated through every military branch in Japan, then you'll know enough to keep your mouth shut.
[Ogami]
... erk.
----
[Yoneda]
If you get that much, hurry up and scram!
[Ogami]
Y, yessir... 'm sorry.
Amazingly enough, Ogami's trust level with Yoneda didn't take a hit (though Ogami's pride may be a different story altogether.
Fascinating fact:
Every time Ogami considers jumping, Maria's always there to stop him.
[Maria]
... Captain. All this sunlight is really making it look very much like summer.
That reminds me, I hear that Japan has a custom called "Tanabata"- the Star Festival. (July 7th)
It seems that the day after tomorrow is Tanabata, but... what kinds of things do people do on that day?
APPARENTLY, tanzaku are small pieces of poem paper, while kadomatsu are traditional New Year's decorations.
This was probably meant to be a gimme question, but I had to Wikipedia the hell out of all three answer choices.
[Ogami]
We hang tanzaku up on bamboo, see. And then we write down several wishes on those tanzaku.
I got it correct simply by a stroke of good fortune.
[Maria]
Wishes, huh... if it were you, Captain, what sorts of things would you write about?
[Ogami]
Probably about the Flower Division? About how I wish that everyone would live out their days in health and happiness.
----
[Maria]
I'm surprised, Captain, that was shockingly heartfelt and--
[Ogami]
... preferably as far away from me as possible, where they pad the walls and keep all sharp instruments out of their searching hands.
[Maria]
... nevermind.
----
[Maria]
I see, that sounds like you, Captain. I think that I, too, would definitely write the same thing, if I were to write down my wish.
----
[Maria]
The difference is that I would mean what I say.
[i][Ogami]
Hey, -I'm- being completely sincere here, too!
----
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