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Ogami stumbled down the hall, his vision starting to blur. His goddamn legs were shaking, his posterior was in shambles, he couldn't think straight, and his libido was probably attached to his gastronomical functions.
The man's brain worked purely on an instinctual level. His room. Ogami would be safe in his room. Sure, Kohran and Sakura and probably Maria had probably rigged his furniture with enough recording devices to suck the souls out of fifty billion superstitious individuals, but at least there he could catch some shut-eye before having to face whoever'll try to violate him next. At least no one had attempted to break into his ROOM...
She'd knocked, right? She'd knocked. No one was home. So she helped herself in.
She's just entering out of worry, right? Just to check and make sure that Ogami's alright? And if Ogami is actually missing, then she'll just have to wait until he gets back. Because she was worried, of course. Yes. Worried. But in the meantime... in the meantime...
This room is his. It smells like him. If she closes her eyes, she can feel him by her side. He will, he will be hers, hers forever. The room IS him- his feel is all over the room. She can feel him. He permeates every inch of the room.
And... this! This drawer, it's filled with his... his...
Guhehehe... hehehehe.... hehehe... HYAHAHAHAHAHA
-- ohshi--
----
[Ogami]
....
[Sakura]
....
[Ogami]
C... can we do this over again?
[Sakura]
I... yes, Ogami-san, that'd be great.
[Ogami]
I'll just... step out of the room and come back in about twenty seconds later. That'll give you just enough time to stop doing what you certainly aren't doing right now.
[Sakura]
Th. Thank you, Ogami-san.
----
. . .
. . .
. . .
----
----
[Ogami]
And I'm sure that that worry caused you to start panicking enough to start wearing my boxers on your head.
[Sakura]
It's a classic get-well charm I picked up living in the country, Ogami-san. Dates back at least three thousand years.
[Ogami]
... boxers hadn't even been invented that far back--
[Sakura]
We've been making do with other forms of underpants until they were invented, Ogami-san.
[Ogami]
I... ... times must have been very tough back then, Sakura-kun.
----
[Ogami]
Sakura-kun....
[Ogami]
Ah, um.... what were you doing in my room?
----
[Sakura]
When I turned the knob... the door wasn't locked, so I got a bit too worried...
It was wrong of me to enter your room on my own, but... but, I still...
[Ogami]
Sakura-kun.... I understand. Thanks for worrying about me. But I'm fine.
----
[Ogami]
More importantly, Sakura-kun, about the door...
[Sakura]
Oh?
[Ogami]
It wasn't so much "unlocked" as it was "someone ripped the doorknob straight out," Sakura-kun. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, woul-
[Sakura]
It's easy to mistake one for the other, Ogami-san! It's certainly not as if I'd torn it out in a fit of psychopathic stalker rage, Ogami-san.
[Ogami]
Whimper.
----
[Sakura]
Please... don't push yourself too hard.
[Sakura]
Ogami-san... I'm sorry to have bothered you.
And when she left... that was it. Ogami knew that he wasn't safe. He wouldn't ever be safe in his own room ever again.
AND he'd need another pair of boxers. Sakura had nicked a pair before he could stop her.
----
No more pushing Maria off the balcony tonight.
It's amazing how much you start missing someone when they're not around anymore.
[???]
........
[Ogami]
Maria!?
[Ogami]
Kanna, huh... what's wrong?
----
[Kanna]
Well, for one thing, you called out someone else's name while we were talkin'.
[Ogami]
... and?
[Kanna]
That's just not right, you know? I mean, if you start letting someone else's name slip during conversation, the next thing you know, you'll be screamin' the wrong name while romping around in be--
[Ogami]
YES I QUITE GET YOUR POINT, KANNA. I'll think about it the next time I, uh, have someone... prepare me a sammich.
[Kanna]
... a sammich?
[Ogami]
Or... or whatever it is you do with your libido. Look, just... can we talk about something else? I'd rather not get into how my stomach/gonads signals have started going wonky in my brain.
----
[Kanna]
It looks like... you're also worried for Maria, Captain.
[Ogami]
.......
----
[Ogami]
....
[Kanna]
... you know... tall Russian, blonde hair, dark overcoat...
[Ogami]
Oh right! Maria! Hah, yes, I'm definitely worried about him.
[Kanna]
Her.
[Ogami]
Look, do YOU want to see how scrambled YOUR brain cell's'll get after a Kohran Special?
[Kanna]
What's a-
[Ogami]
Don't ask.
----
----
[Ogami]
That's because... we're all friends, right? I think it's natural that we'd help support each other.
[Kanna]
I mean, she... she's never really opened her heart to anyone since forever...
So, pretty frequently... we'd have these meaningless fights.
But... you look pretty trustworthy. I'm leavin' Maria in your hands.
[Ogami]
Aah, I got it.
----
[Ogami]
Look, it WAS pretty damn impressive how you managed that with a straight face, but you don't need to hold back your laughter like that- your face's turning purple, for chrissakes.
----
[Kanna]
That kinda stuff... well, she hates it, y'know.
[Ogami]
Understood...
[Kanna]
In that case, I'm outta here. Do a good job, alright?
----
[Kanna]
Oh... and no jumping off the balcony to end your horrible horrible life at the theater, okay?
[Ogami]
Yes'm.
----
... after that, events were... kind of a blur.
When I came to, I was huddled in the corner of the seating area on the second floor, mumbling to myself and digging into the seat cushions for the marbles that I'd lost.
Somehow, Tsubaki wasn't at all frightened of me.
----
The Undercity, huh...
... well, it turns out that she's a really, really brave girl.
Next, I woke up in the goddamn powder room. I... I THINK we were talking about Maria? Yeah, we were probably talking about Maria... unless Iris started doing that weird third-person narration thing again, whi-
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
Wha... Kasumi, what'd I say?
[Kasumi]
Well, when I asked you if you wanted to eat something, you said... that you'd like to have ME, and--
[Ogami]
... SAMMICH!!
[Kasumi]
Huh?
[Ogami]
I MEANT I'D LIKE TO HAVE YOUR HOMEMADE SAMMICH. S... SAMMIghakljdg...
----
I... I'm not entirely sure what happened next. I'm sure it wasn't anything BAD, though.
----
----
... Kasumi's ridiculously quick exit aside.
Too bad... guess we couldn't find Maria at all.
----
[Ogami]
Maria, wait!
[Maria]
Ensign...! Please don't bother yourself with me anymore!
----
[Ogami]
That doesn't even make any goddamn sense!!
[Maria]
Really? Then what WOULD make sense to you, Ensign?
[Ogami]
I just...
[Ogami]
I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO MAKE ME A MOTHERFUCKING SAMMICH!!
[Maria]
... Ensign?
[Ogami]
Just trust me on this! I need a goddamn sammich! I need someone to make me a MAN again!
[Maria]
Were you ever one in the first place?
[Ogami]
Oh, now that's just below the belt.
[Maria]
I try, Ensign.
----
[Ogami]
M--
----
[Ogami]
... can't you at least let me say my li-
[Ogami]
Bu-
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
(inhale)
[Maria]
Give it up, Ensign, you can't possibly wi-
[Ogami]
Don'tdoanythingrashMariaandyouknowthatI'mrightandIreallycouldn'thaveletthatchilddiesoscrewyouandthehighhorseyoucameridinginon!
[Maria]
DAMMIT!
----
[Ogami]
Maria! Wait!
----
[Maria]
.....
[Ogami]
.... that voice!?
----
[Maria]
....
[Ogami]
....
[Maria]
....
[Ogami]
... eh, screw this, let's just go back inside.
[Maria]
Understood.
[Setsuna]
W-wait!!
----
[Setsuna]
Or should I be calling you "Kazuar," instead!?
[Ogami]
... warrior of a revolution? ... Kazuar? What in the world are you talking about?
[Setsuna]
We of the Hive of Darkness have seen straight to what you truly are!
Your guise as a protector of justice and a warrior of the Imperial Capital is merely a mask... but in reality, you're simply a cold-hearted monster beyond compare!!
[Maria]
Kh....!
[Setsuna]
If you do not want your true identity to be revealed to your comrades, then show yourself at once!
[Setsuna]
Kuku... hahahahahaha!!
[Maria]
.......
[Ogami]
Maria...
[Maria]
..... we fought him at Tsukiji- he was one of the members of the Hive of Darkness. I believe that his name was "Setsuna" or some such...
----
[Ogami]
I... no, that's not really what I...
----
[Maria]
... it'll be alright. Ensign, do you honestly believe that I would be that easily provoked?
[Ogami]
Well, if you're sure, Maria, then that's okay.
(Three minutes later.)
----
[Ogami]
SON OF A BITCH!!
NEXT TIME: ... son of a bitch.
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