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((Ridiculously short update once again. I apologize- I'm testing out a new way of uploading pictures.
On the plus side, I burned some time today and I have enough screenshots and material to cover the next... what, five, six updates?))
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[Setsuna]
My lord, all the troops are in position. All we require is that you give us the word.
[Tenkai]
Very good. I'll leave it in your hands, then.
[Setsuna]
I continue to be amazed by your strategy, sir... first the food industry, and now the shipping industry. At this rate, we shall cripple the Imperial Capital's--
[Tenkai]
SHIPPING industry?! What the hell are you talking about, we're not going after something as inconsequential as that!!
[Setsuna]
... if I may be so bold to ask, my lord, what--
[Tenkai]
Setsuna! Your number one priority, here and forever, will be to destroy as many of THESE as possible!!
[Setsuna]
... barrels, sir?
[Tenkai]
YES!! Those accursed barrels! They have been my downfall every time I return to this piddling mortal coil!!
[Setsuna]
Sir, I--
[Tenkai]
Shut up! You know nothing of the way of the barrel! If heroes aren't finding ancient, potent foodstuffs or long-lost mythical weapons inside those thrice-damned barrels, they're always pushing or throwing those barrels all over the place!!
[Setsuna]
H... haah...
[Tenkai]
Do you have any idea how humiliting it is to be defeated just because some sly hero figured out a barrel-related way to destroy a bridge over lava!? Or to find out that you accidentally left your most allergic foodstuff inside a barrel in front of the door to your lair?!
I'll hear no more arguments. Go forth, and destroy every barrel you can get your hands on!!
[Setsuna]
... your wish is my command, my lord nutcase.
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VIDEO!
The beginning of the battle!
Google Version
Youtube Version
"When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Every day just to help me grow laaaarge~
But now that I'm grown I eat FIVE dozen eggs,
So I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge~!
No~ One~ eats like Kanna! No one hits like Kanna!
No one's ever got breasts that're as huge as Kanna's!
'As a specimen, yes, I'm inti~mida~ting~'
Boy, what a gal, that Kanna~!"
~ Excerpt from "Kanna's Song." Act 1, Scene 2 of the popular 1964 musical, "Battle Amongst The Cherry Blossoms"- a retelling of the 1920s Demon Wars.
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TAISHO ERA, 12th YEAR; JUNE
TSUKIJI
... so much for "the local inhabitants will not be endangered."
Or for the damn place being uninhabited. Aaaaayaaameeee!! 
More importantly, this battle marks a day that shall live in infamy...
The mass destruction of innocent barrels.
... highly explosive barrels scattered around in a semi-populated space, placed without any regard to the danger they might pose to someone dumb enough to walk around with a lit cigar.
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... it's seriously acting like it's afraid of getting caught destroying a barrel.
...
How can you NOT love these guys? 
They're like a bunch of irresistably lovable morons crammed into giant engines of mass destruction.
Of course, kids being kids, he doesn't make for the back entrance and run for his life. No, he has to WATCH what's going on.
Oh hey, it's thing number three!
And it's even the same chant as before!
I didn't think it was possible, but Setsuna manages to do it even less justice than before.
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[???]
Hold it right there, Hive of Darkness!!
... aww, no train leaping out of the sea?
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[Ogami]
Alright, Ayame-san, we've arrived! It's time to launch.
[Ayame]
Okay. Just look over the side, and you should see the parachutes.
[Ogami]
Like this?
[Ayame]
(SHOVE)
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[Ayame]
Out you go, Ogami-kun!
[Ogami]
WHY WON'T YOU EVER JUST GIVE US PARACHUTES?!
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The world will never know how many broken bones long weeks of practice it took them to land in that picture-perfect manner.
ROBOT ROLL CALL!
SAKURA! ("SKREEEEEEEE--")
SUMIRE! ("Fear not, for I have once again graced this stage with my overwhelming beauty!")
MARIA! ("... you've just lost the game.")
KANNA! ("Not enough spikes! NEVER ENOUGH SPIKES.")
KOHRAN! ("o/` One thousand Chibi-Robos armed to blow, one thousand Chibi-Robos armed to blow~~ fire one out, watch it die, nine-hundred and ninety-nine Chibi-Robos armed to blow... o/`")
O~GAMI~! ("Well, that's two arms broken, one broken face, and now two broken legs. LET'S DO THIS.")
[Everyone]
The Imperial Assault Force has arrived!
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[Ogami]
Dogs? ... I dunno, what do you guys think?
[Sakura]
I think we're more like cats, but... what do you think, Kanna?
[Kanna]
Eh, that's alright with me! I like the sound of dogs- smart, loyal, and a pack of them can rip a man to shreds in seconds.
[Sumire]
Well, I'm certain that we are refined, purebred dogs- though I cannot say too much for Kanna. She's probably just a mongrel.
[Kanna]
Hah, I'm fine with that! At least I'm not some pampered little yappy lapdog who's too inbred to even SEE straight!
[Sumire]
What was that?! Why you little-
[Ogami]
... goddammit, you guys, can't we get back to the subject at hand?
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[Setsuna]
Mwahahahaha...! But it seems that you're too late.
I, Pale-Blue Setsuna, have already broken the second seal of the "Six Destructive Stars Fallen Demon Formation!"
[Ogami]
The area's demonic energy is increasing... everyone, be careful!! Something's coming!
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Son of a BITCH, he's bringing out his boss-mech already?! 
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DEMON-DRIVEN MECHANICAL SOLDIER: SOUKAKU
... Wolverine claws. H-he's got motherfucking Wolverine claws.
Dude, I heard him as well as you guys did.
[Ayame]
If you defeat him, you should be able to stop this disturbance. Go and confront him immediately!
[Ogami]
Understood. Our target is that enemy's large-scale demon-driven mechanical soldier! Everyone, let's go!!
[Everyone]
Understood!
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[Ogami]
... don't all of you volunteer at once, now.
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[Yuri]
Ogami-san, an emergency alarm has been declared for this zone, so most of the bridges have been raised.
[Ogami]
What?! If that's the case, then all the shortest routes to Soukaku are cut off. Isn't there anything that can be done?
[Tsubaki]
There's a way to force the release of the bridges, but it requires you to move an object heavier than a Koubu onto the switch.
And there aren't many things heavier than a Koubu...
[Kasumi]
Something heavy.... I've got it, Ogami-san! Do you see that differently-colored drum barrel?
... it's a barrel.
[Kasumi]
That drum barrel was used in place of an anchor.
In order to sink them to the bottom of the ocean, they are probably filled with a heavy fluid of a specific weight.
----
Well, shit.
Tenkai was right after all. 
NEXT TIME: Let's Fighting Love.
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