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To the gym! True strength comes from self-discipline, and only with continual training will Ogami be able to triumph over the forces of darkness and-
... well, okay, so Ogami's work ethic could use some tweaking.
I suppose the man's entitled to a break. Three weeks of truncated training montage posing would take the sheen off of ANYONE'S enthusiasm.
... with the exception of Kanna.
[Ogami]
You're really fired up, Kanna. Working out right after coming home?
[Kanna]
Yeah, well... it's 'cause I thought back to our last battle. Complacency's our greatest enemy, ain't it?
----
[Ogami]
... I dunno, I'm pretty sure we're our own greatest enemy.
[Kanna]
Yeah, it's not like Satan and his Merry Friends are really puttin' up much of a fight.
[Ogami]
Wait, is that seriously what they're calling themselves?
[Kanna]
Nah, but it's got more of a ring to it than The Villains Formerly Known As The Hive Of Darkness, right?
[Ogami]
... you've been making all these names up, haven't you, Kanna.
[Kanna]
Haha, yeah! How'd you know, Captain?
[Ogami]
I... lucky guess, Kanna. It's STILL an improvement over the Manager's "Those Stupid Fucking Bastards". I think.
----
[Ogami]
... yeah, that's true.
Come to think of it... you said you killed bears for training, but did you really...?
[Kanna]
... hey now, why would I lie about something like that!?
I really did take out bears. I put my life at risk... they were powerful opponents.
[Ogami]
I-I see... you're amazing, Kanna...
----
[Ogami]
I mean, you can say "those bears gave me a hard time" with a straight face.
[Kanna]
Hey now, it really wasn't easy, Captain.
[Ogami]
... huh?
[Kanna]
I mean... okay, there's time spent actually takin' down the bear, but then you've gotta keep re-lighting the bonfire 'cause it tends to go out when you're moving that fast, and then you gotta hope that you've got enough heat going to flash-cook the meat in record amounts of t-
[Ogami]
Kanna? What're you talking about?
[Kanna]
Ah, me and my old man had our own homebrew spin on BPS, which includes time taken to skin, prepare, and eat each bear that we-
[Ogami]
O-okay, so the number you gave me earlier, that 34.1 BPS- that was the normal system of counting, right? Not your homebrew BPS?
[Kanna]
Well, actually, my normal BPS would be something in the neighborhood of two thou-
[Ogami]
RIGHT then, I-I think I'm starting to get the general idea.
----
[Kanna]
Naw, you see, it's still nothing compared to my old man... he took down tigers.
[Ogami]
T-Tiger-killing...? That IS incredible.
Oh, boy, killing endangered animals for fun and profit!
... unless, of course, tigers HADN'T been endangered before Kanna's distant forefathers had started down the path of martial artistry.
[Kanna]
By the way, Captain. How'd your training turn out?
[Ogami]
Yeah, just leave it all to me.
[Kanna]
Well, that sounds promising!
We're all counting on you! Captain!
[Kanna]
Well, I'm heading back upstairs. Seeya, Captain.
Presumably to laugh at the prospect of being able to leave ANYTHING to Ogami.
... lately, I get the feeling that these conversations are getting to the level of banality you only really see in offices.
[Ogami]
Yeah... seeya.
Well, after tooling around for a bit...
... we bump into Kanna. Again.
[Ogami]
That looks good, Kanna.
[Ogami]
No... it's been a while since I've seen everyone, so I just wanted to talk.
[Kanna]
Whatever anyone else tells you, eating is the best way to grow stronger.
Eat everything without being picky about likes or dislikes. It sounds easy, but it's harder than any kinda training.
[Ogami]
Hmm, let's see...
... well, gee, I wonder how I'm supposed to answer THIS question. I mean, it's not like Kanna hasn't been throwing us BIG HONKIN' CLUES or anything of the sort, no sirree.
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... brain? What the FUCK is with that third answer choice, brain?
[Ogami's Brain]
b@iNg! I'm an avocado, senorita!
[Ogami]
... right, right, I forgot. You checked out AGES ago.
----
[Ogami]
No, I'll eat just about anything. I've always been like that.
[Kanna]
Heh, that's really something! I figure that if you're gonna eat, you might as well eat something that tastes good.
----
----
... did Kanna just use that conversation as a way to deliver her soapbox speech on good eats?
Have... have we gone back in time to the era of 80's cartoons, where the ending is packed with references to healthy eating, anti-drug abuse, and copious amounts of merchandise advertising? "Kanna Kirishima's Frosted Ursine Chunks! Packed with an almost unBEARable amount of sugared protein!!"
Well, whatever the case, it's probably time to see the Manager!
... yeah, never mind the fact that he's coming back to report when he's just about finished with his rounds. Screw timeliness!
KNOCK.
[Ogami]
Ichiro Ogami, reporting for duty!
[Yoneda]
Oh, Ogami! Well now, c'mon in.
[Ogami]
Yessir! Please pardon the intrusion.
----
[Ogami]
Manager Yoneda...
[Ogami]
How is everyone in the Flower Division doing?
Yeah, forget the fact that we just saw them all over the past hour or so. Ogami needs positive reinforcement, dammit! He might finally get the Manager to say something that won't directly or indirectly chip away at his increasingly fragile ego and/or state of mind!
[Yoneda]
Oh hoh... so you HAVE been worrying over your brigade members, haven't you.
And... Maria in particular has been on your mind, hasn't she?
[Ogami]
M-Manager! Please don't tease me like that!
Or the Manager could scare the poor boy within an inch of his life, either way.
----
[Yoneda]
Well, it's true, ain't it? You'd just love to get Maria into those proverbial hot springs... if you know what I mean.
[Ogami]
... I don't, but I think I'm kind of starting to get the gist of it. B-but seriously, no, she'd kill me.
[Yoneda]
Ah HAH. Well, maybe she's playin' hard to get?
[Ogami]
N-No, that'd either involve some form of submission-based CQC, grenades rolled under my door, or those crazy ice-maiden bullet things that she shoots out on a regular basis.
[Yoneda]
...
[Yoneda]
... if you know what I mean. Eh? Eh?
[Ogami]
*Sigh.* Y-Yes sir.
----
[Yoneda]
Well, that you've come home safely is the most important thing. Go drop in on everyone.
I'm gonna take a bit of a nap now, so you'd better not wake me up.
----
[Ogami]
... wait, you're. You're just going to take a nap?
[Yoneda]
A-yup!
[Ogami]
What about all your prior obligations? Or all that paperwork on your desk? You're not seriously just going to take a nap, like-
[Yoneda]
LIKE A BOSS!
[Ogami]
But it's just a nap!
[Yoneda]
LIKE A BOSS!
[Ogami]
You're slacking off!
[Yoneda]
LIKE A BOSS!
[Ogami]
Bu-
[Yoneda]
LIKE A BOSS!
[Ogami]
...
[Yoneda]
...
[Yoneda]
I'm the boss.
[Ogami]
Y... yessir.
----
[Ogami]
... understood. Now then, please excuse me.
... wow. He really IS sleeping.
Goddamn, I wish I could be a manager and be able to tell my underlings "bugger off, I'm gonna sleep now."
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