<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index





[Ogami]

Yeah... I guess I'll go out with Tsubaki-chan and the others.
Now that THAT'S decided... better head to the Secretarial Office.


----
[Ogami]

... because with Tsubaki and the others, I can avoid getting ganged-up on for turning them down. But-- shit, wait, Ayame's my boss, so my ass is grass if I tell her that I'm running off with THREE girls instead, but on the OTHER hand, Tsubaki and the others will...

[Kohran]

Ah, Ogami-han, Ah was jes' lookin' fer ya! So, someone's been tellin' me that ya got a dilemma on yer hands, huh?

[Ogami]

...

[Kohran]

Okay, fine, so Ah heard that ya got a dilemma on yer hands. From my extensive network of hidden cameras an' listenin' equipment. Same thing.

[Ogami]

Well... yeah. Why do you-

[Kohran]

Because Ah already got th' perfect solution! BEHOLD!!

[Ogami]

... Kohran? You're... you're brandishing a chainsaw. Please don't tell me that you're going to--

[Kohran]

Damn straight it is! Hell, I even got express permission from th' Manager! Haven't ya ever wanted t' be in two places at once, Ogami-han?

[Ogami]

Yeah, but those two places'll be "on the floor, bleeding my eviscerated guts out," which would defeat the entire purpose!! And WHY is your chainsaw named the Cock of Science!?

[Kohran]

That's 'cause y'all need t' sit back, relax, and jes' let th' Cock of Science--

[Ogami]

Look, you really don't need to finish that sentence.

[Kohran]

-- usher in a new dawn of super science wit' a great big cockle-doodle-doo~!

[Ogami]

... oh.

[Kohran]

Well, that and it's also kinda shaped like a... y'know.

[Ogami]

RIGHT, thank you, I get it, now can you PLEASE put down that chainsaw and stop trying to cut me in haaaaAAAAAARGHHIBLEARGHBLKGH--

----

...

...

...

...

...



[Ogami]

Yeah, that's right. So... where're we going?


[Yuri]

There, there... don't worry about that. In any case, it's a place where you need to be right now, Ogami-san.


----
[Ogami]

The hospital? Please? This really shouldn't be physically possible.

[Yuri]

Hahaha, no, of course n--

[Yuri]

... you know, there's something different about you, but I can't put my finger on it.

[Kasumi]

Now that you mention it, he seems paler than usual...

[Tsubaki]

Are you alright, Ogami-san?

[Ogami]

...



[Ogami]

I'm... I'm feeling just peachy.

[Tsubaki]

Well, if you say so, Ogami-san!

----

[Kasumi]

Now then-- shall we get going? Come on, Ogami-san, you're coming, too.


[Ogami]

Ah... o-okay.


----
[Yuri]

Hey, isn't that Ayame-san walking down the stairs over there?

[Kasumi]

Oh my, you're right! And she seems to be accompanied by someone who looks suspiciously li--

[Ogami]

Ha ha ha oh man we'd better hurry or else we'll miss our vaguely-defined form of transportation and won't that be a shame so please just WALK FASTER YOU GUYS.

----

On the plus side, Ogami can now get some strategical planning done, as he can hear out the theater girls AND Ayame all at the same time. So, as such, the various sacrifices that he's had to make are made very much worth--



-- never mind. I take it all back.



[Yuri]

We've finally gotten the chance to come to the Flower Mansion Amusement Park, so we've gotta have fun!!


[Ogami]

But, I've got to...


[Kasumi]

We know. But... we're here BECAUSE it's a time like this.
If you don't slow down, you won't be able to think up anything worthwhile. A change of mood is also important, isn't it?


----
[Ogami]

But, but, Manager Yoneda's going to kill me if he finds out that I'm goofing off!

[Kasumi]

Don't worry, Ogami-san. We've already convinced him to give you the afternoon off.

[Yuri]

Yup. He was surprisingly receptive to the idea, too, so it wasn't THAT hard.

[Ogami]

... huh. Well, if that's the case, then I guess--

[Ogami]

Wait... he didn't call Kohran in immediately afterward, did he?

[Tsubaki]

Bingo! How in the world did you guess?

[Ogami]

I had a feeling. So THAT'S why Kohran got permission to gut me like a fish. Alright, but what about the Imperial Capital itself and the welfare of all its citizens?

[Kasumi]

Ogami-san... have we EVER cared about any of that before?

[Ogami]

No, but what about the demons who're poised to kill everyone?

[Yuri]

What about them?

[Ogami]

...

[Ogami]

... well, shit, I really can't argue with that logic, can I.

----

[Tsubaki]

C'mon~, let's hurry up and go! We've got to go on all the rides at least once!


[Ogami]

Y-Yeah...


(INSERT BOY CRASHING INTO OGAMI SOUNDS HERE.)



[Boy]

What's with those guys!? The Imperial Assault Force doesn't EVER lose!!


[Ogami]

Wh-What!?


----
[Ogami]

What the hell has this kid been smoki--

[Yuri]

Hush!

----



[Boy]

Well, they... they're saying that the Imperial Assault Force lost!
And that it was all over the newspapers' special editions... but... that's just-! That's gotta be a lie!!


[Ogami]

Grk... th, that's...


[Kasumi]

(Ogami-san... leave this to us.)




And then the boy was surrounded by attractive young women.

Granted, from his point of view, he might simply be surrounded by carriers of cooties, but that's neither here nor there.

[Kasumi]

Well, you see... it's true that the Imperial Assault Force lost that last battle.


[Boy]

Eh...? So it's true...


[Kasumi]

But the people in the Imperial Assault Force won't give up. They'll fight one more time.


----
[Ogami]

We will?

[Kasumi]

Shhhh!!

----

[Tsubaki]

Hey, the Imperial Assault Force has always fought for our sakes, hasn't it?


----
[Ogami]

We have?

[Tsubaki]

OGAMI-SAN!

[Ogami]

I know, I know! I just can't help but feel that we're overloading his brain with hilariously inaccurate propaganda!

----

[Boy]

Yeah...


[Yuri]

Don't tell me that you've come to hate the Imperial Assault Force over just one loss?


[Boy]

Like I'll ever hate them!! Because when I grow up, I'm going to join the Imperial Assault Force!


Y'know, I don't know what's worse: the fact that no one's ever had the heart to tell him that the Flower Brigade is (mostly) an all-woman brigade...

[Boy]

So... I'll never hate them or anything like that!


... or the fact that no one's told him that the Imperial Assault Force has probably done more damage to the Imperial Capital than any of the demons ever will.

[Ogami]

........




[Ogami]

Well...


And lo, Ogami looked the boy straight in the eye and was utterly floored by the complete honesty and steel-hard resolution he saw contained within. Ogami's small, shriveled, and frighteningly-scarred heart grew three sizes that day!



... so much so, in fact, that he saw a desperate way out of this hellish mess began feeling quite charitable!

[Ogami]

D'you want to take my place as captain? If you're fine with it, I'll swap with you.


[Kasumi]

O-Ogami-san!? What are you saying!?


[Boy]

... d-don't tell me! You're...


----
[Ogami]

C'mon c'mon c'mon say yes c'mon c'mon c'mon c--

[Boy]

A cyborg!

[Ogami]

... so close. And yet... so, so far.

----

[Boy]

You're the theater's ticket-taker! That's right, isn't it! I remember you!!


[Ogami]

Eek!? Ah... well, that IS true, but...


[Boy]

You don't get it, huh? I was talking about the ASSAULT Force- the allies of justice.


Not the theatrical troupe. Remember, Assault Force and Theatrical Troupe are homonyms in Japanese.

[Boy]

There's no way I'd want to become a ticket-taker! Honestly...


----
[Ogami]

Take it from me, kid... some days, you really can't have your cake and eat it too.

[Ogami]

OTHER days, someone WILL let you have your cake and eat it too, but only if you let that someone ram an iron-toed boot straight up the ass that your life has become.

[Boy]

...

[Boy]

You said a dirty word!

[Ogami]

... yeah. Yeah, I did.

----



[Yuri]

Right, I got it! Big sister will tell the Imperial Assault Troupe to win the next battle!


[Boy]

Really!? You're all good friends with the Imperial Assault Force, big sis!?




[Boy]

Okay! I got it!! I'll go tell everyone! Thanks, big sis!!



<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index