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... seriously, there's only ONE person who, immediately after a battle, would rather go down to the command room than actually rest.
All together now, folks:
[Ogami]
Maria...
MARIA.
[Ogami]
Yeah... might as well, while I'm doing the nightly rounds.
----
[Maria]
... you weren't at all planning to, were you.
[Ogami]
Er, no, I was TOTALLY planning to get some research done! Why else would I BE at the command room!?
[Maria]
Because there was no one in the showers for you to peep on, and you knew that I sensed you the moment you came within a hundred yards of the command room.
[Ogami]
... Kohran hasn't been able to slip you any happy pills these past few hours, huh.
[Maria]
Nope.
----
[Ogami]
Maria...?
[Maria]
Something I had tasted long ago... something like the very limits of ecstasy, drifting on that fine line between life and death...
[Ogami]
Maria...
Well, she's either 1) getting back into the groove of badassery, 2) working up her confidence, 3) or she's turning back into the ultimate psycho killer of the past, so...
.... engaging in some old-fashioned domestic violence would probably be pointless and counterproductive.
Y'know, unless she's going into the third category, which is 4) going completely and utterly emo.
...
Well, if we're going to do something stupid, then we might as well do it with TOO MUCH HIGH POWER.
[Ogami]
You don't want to become embroiled in that sort of desperate battle again, like so long ago... weren't you the one who said that, Maria!?
[Maria]
Captain...
[Ogami]
Our valuable comrade, who's both kind and stern... that's the type of person you are now... Maria.
So, please... don't fight such a lonely battle. Fight as part of the Flower Division.
----
[Ogami]
Fuck individuality, Maria! You need to go back to being a faceless member of the herd!
----
thwip
----
[Ogami]
Well, THAT was a disturbing quick turnabout time. I can't possibly imagine what could've--
[Ogami]
... Maria, was that blow dart sticking out of your neck always there?
[Maria]
Y-Yes, Captain. Acupuncture and sudden mood swings are all the rage these days.
[Ogami]
What, really?
[Maria]
... no, Captain. You know, your inability to pick up any sarcasm is really, really making me... making me...
[Maria]
... H... A... P... P... Y...
[Kohran]
Oh yeah, Ah still got it.
[Ogami]
... y'know, I have the sinking feeling that I know the answer to this question already, but... what the hell are you doing up there, Kohran?
[Kohran]
Ceiling Kohran is watchin' ya master-bai--
[Ogami]
NO.
----
[Ogami]
I'm sorry, Maria. For hitting you like that...
----
[Maria]
Apologizing for having to sit here and watch you make a fool of yourself as you utterly fail at slapping people in the face.
[Ogami]
... wait, weren't you just--
[Maria]
That was the most limp-wristed sissy hit I've ever seen in my life! What were they TEACHING you in the Navy!?
[Ogami]
W-Well, you know, I didn't really want to hit you HARD, because it isn't right to hit girls!
[Maria]
Why the hell not!?
[Ogami]
Because it's called domestic violence.
[Maria]
That's... wait, we hit you all the time, Captain.
[Ogami]
Yeah... when a girl hits a GUY, it's called "comedy."
[Maria]
... but that's utterly--
[Ogami]
It's anime, Maria, don't ask too much about it.
----
[Ogami]
The responsibility for the result of our last battle is wholly mine. So... you shouldn't be blaming yourself.
Gladly!
[Ogami]
Oh, and... don't tell anyone else about what you were saying just now.
Right now... everyone's already feeling uneasy.
[Maria]
Yes... of course.
----
----
----
[Ogami]
If only I had done a better job last battle, then... then we wouldn't be in this predicament, we'd still be overconfident, and we wouldn't be having this huge bout of character-building introspection that'll probably make us stronger in the long run.
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... well, shit, I guess you can't make an omelet without violently crushing some eggs in the jaws of despair and self-pity.
----
----
----
[Ogami]
I don't care about any of that, I just want to know how you got up here so bleeding fast.
[Kohran]
Oh, that? That's an ancient Chinese secret passed down through my family over countless generations... called "goin' up th' stairs two at a time."
[Ogami]
... look, Kohran, I'm not THAT out of shape. It's just, you know, things've been pretty quiet these past few months, and--
[Kohran]
Hey, don't worry too much 'bout it! After all, Confucius says "you're really outta shape, Ogami-han."
[Ogami]
I GET IT.
----
[Ogami]
Kohran... are you researching something?
----
[Ogami]
Kohran...
Well, it's time to turn on that ol' Ogami charm!
... by pestering Kohran like a five-year old imbecile. 
[Ogami]
Don't say that. C'mon, tell me! What're you researching?
----
[Ogami]
... Kohran, you miser. Can't you just tell me...?
----
----
[Kohran]
'Sides, all of ya will probably be th' first t' know if it DOESN'T work out.
[Ogami]
Because the theater will shake as the library or your room explodes, right? Yeah, I know, Kohran.
[Kohran]
Ha ha ha!
[Kohran]
Actually, it'd probably be more along th' lines of "you'll figure it out when y'all get enveloped by a blinding white glow an' time, space, an' th' location of yer organs cease t' have any meanin' whatsoever.
[Ogami]
Did you say something?
[Kohran]
Nothin' at all~! How'd Maria take to th' happy dart?
[Ogami]
It wore off in like five seconds, and she bounced back surlier than ever.
[Kohran]
Eh, don't worry 'bout it. That jes' means that she's buildin' up an immunity to th' happy pill, an' she'll probably start gettin' madder an' madder after she bounces back.
[Ogami]
... isn't that still a problem?
[Kohran]
If it is, it ain't MY problem, Mr. Captain sir!
[Ogami]
Goddammit, Kohran.
----
[Ogami]
Kohran seemed kind of desperate... I'd better pick up the pace myself...
The third-to-last pilot that we have to deal with during this free roam is, of course...
... absolutely no one.
[Sumire]
Ensign... making the nightly rounds, are you?
[Ogami]
Sumire-kun...
[Ogami]
........
Yeah-- right off the bat, she's picking a fight.
I don't think I've ever really chosen the correct answer to the following multiple choice box in ANY of my previous playthroughs, which is part of the reason why Sumire's always thrown me off (ESPECIALLY since most of the other characters are extremely straightforward).
By sheer luck, I managed to get it this time...
... by choosing what has GOT to be the least likely answer.
[Ogami]
Heheheh... I totally messed up today, didn't I?
----
[Ogami]
... you know, when you understate it to that extent, it really drives home just how badly we fucked up today.
[Sumire]
Oh? How so?
[Ogami]
Huh? We lost six super-powerful, super-expensive power armor units and caused incredible amounts of super-expensive property damage. Do you have any idea how much money we lost during today's battle?
[Sumire]
?
[Ogami]
... right, you wouldn't, would you.
[Sumire]
Net losses are something that happen to other people, Ensign!
----
[Ogami]
Eh...?
----
[Ogami]
Yeah... I think that's how I want to be, as well.
[Sumire]
Because there are... various things that I must get done.
[Ogami]
I see...
[Sumire]
Now then... have a good night's rest. It will not do for you to throw away your most sincere aspirations.
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... why is it that I always communicate the best with Sumire-kun when I don't actually say anything of value?
----
Welp, Iris is the second-to-last pilot.
... that way, Sakura will know to come looking for Ogami if something horrible should befall him.
Once again, the next sentence turns this question rhetorical very quickly.
[Ogami]
Iris, are you still up? ... I'm coming in.
In the past, Ogami learned to fear Iris because she was 1) a young child who 2) was romantically (?) obsessed with him for various arcane reasons, 3) possessed psychic powers that people thrice her age could never hope to achieve, and 4) had the unfortunate and somewhat inconvenient tendency to consume souls like popcorn and break reality.
Over the course of a few months, Ogami has managed to defuse #2, become accustomed to and/or use #3 for various military purposes, and has dealt away with the first half of #4.
Of course,Ogami is still right to fear her...
... solely on the basis of point #1.
[Ogami]
Eek!?
[Iris]
No one will play with me. Iris is bored~!!
[Ogami]
Er, no... well, a lot happened today, didn't it? So...
----
[Iris]
At the same time!!
[Ogami]
I don't think we even HAVE any good seven to ten player games at the theater, Iris.
[Iris]
That's not true!!
[Ogami]
... nothing that hasn't been expressly banned from the theater by the national government, I mean.
[Iris]
But Iris LIKED Sumire's "Real World Monopoly"! And Kanna's "Duck Duck Goose WITH DEADLY FORCE"! And Ayame's "Rock, Paper, Shogeimaru Main Cannon", Maria's "Russian Roulette", and Sakura's "Cutting Pedestrians While Laughing In A High-Pitched Psychopath Voice"!!
[Ogami]
... that last one wasn't a game, Iris.
[Iris]
But it was fun!! And it was also banned by the government.
----
[Ogami]
No... I'm telling you...
[Ogami]
........
... we really don't have a choice here.
Well, okay, so we DO technically have a choice, but the last two options look like they'd segue straight into some pretty nasty game overs.
[Ogami]
Okay, sure. So... how do you play?
[Iris]
If you copy well, then Oniichan wins! If you don't, then Iris wins!!
[Ogami]
Aah, I got it. Let's do this, then.
[Iris]
Yup... here we go!
Annoyingly enough, you get on Iris's bad side if you intentionally throw the game ("Boring!"). You also get on her bad side if you actually ACE the game ("... BORING!!"), so you basically HAVE to be completely and utterly mediocre in order to win (which may be a first in gaming history).
[Ogami]
Hahahahaha... Iris, you were pretty good, too.
----
[Ogami]
... it's just that I couldn't really copy you when you started spinning your head 360 degrees.
[Iris]
You can't?
[Ogami]
Nope.
[Iris]
But you did it last month, remember, Oniichan? It was when Kanna--
[Ogami]
Y-Yeah, but necks aren't actually intended to DO that. And do you remember what you learned that time, Iris?
[Iris]
"Friends don't let friends spin peoples' heads like corkscrews!"
[Ogami]
... and what did you do instead?
[Iris]
Took Kohran's bet that Kanna couldn't spin Oniichan's head like a corkscrew!
[Ogami]
... yeah, I should probably talk to Manager Yoneda about letting you grow up in an environment that isn't populated by the worst role models known to any sentient life form.
----
----
[Ogami]
That's because... we lost our fight, and the Koubu got broken...
[Iris]
Eh...? It's because of something like that that everyone's sad?
... well, if something positive could ever be said about Iris, it's that she's slightly more emo-resistant than most characters?
[Iris]
You're like that too, aren't you, Oniichan? Don't you think that you'll be able to do your best, even if you lose?
[Ogami]
Hahahahah... I see. That's certainly true. Thank you, Iris.
thwip
----
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... Kohran...
[Kohran]
No need t' thank me, jes' be thankful for th' buddy system!
----
NEXT TIME: An update that won't take three weeks to finish!
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