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When we last left Ogami and Maria, they were about to embark on a purely platonic outing to Meiji Shrine.
... and now that we've rejoined them, uh.
They still haven't actually gotten onto the train yet. 
[Ogami]
Here, Maria. Watch your step when getting on.
----
----
[Maria]
... when the hell did you have time to change, Captain?
[Ogami]
I didn't! All I did was throw on the overcoat that was my pay.
[Maria]
Don't you mean "bought with your pay"--
[Ogami]
...
[Maria]
Oh.
----
[Maria]
I never thought that I would ever see this day.
[Ogami]
That's true... just a little while back, we've all done nothing but battle...
[Maria]
To think that such peaceful days where I would feel at ease would arrive...
[Ogami]
While all sorts of things have happened, it's wonderful that peace has come.
[Maria]
That's true... I can no longer go back to how I used to be.
[Ogami]
(How she used to be... huh.)
[Maria]
Oh no, just look at me. I'm always thinking of days long past...
[Ogami]
N-No, it's alright... come to think of it, how do you pass the new year in Russia?
[Maria]
Russia's new year?
It's not that different from Japan's.
[Ogami]
You don't have customary shrine visits, right? What do you do on New Year's Eve and the like?
[Maria]
We gather our friends and make merry until morning.
Translation: Enough alcohol to burn down a small country is consumed.
[Maria]
After that, at dawn, we face the snow-covered fields and pray...
[Ogami]
... pray?
[Maria]
That we won't wake up with a splitting hangover That we will be able to enjoy good fortune this next year, as well...
[Ogami]
That's a custom fitting for the intensely cold Russia, huh...
Even so... you've changed too, Maria. We wouldn't have had this kind of conversation before.
[Maria]
That's true... but-- Captain? Have I really changed that much?
[Ogami]
Yeah, when we first met, you got mad at me a lot...
Now, instead of exploding with rage, Maria just kind of stares at Ogami until he starts feeling guilty for having been born into this world.
[Maria]
Hmhm, I'm sorry. Back then, I was...
[Ogami]
No, I was also inexperienced back then.
----
[Maria]
Of course, even now, you're STILL inexperienced.
[Ogami]
W-Well, yeah, I was GOING to say that to be humble and all, but...
[Maria]
Hmhmhm... well, you're not nearly skilled enough at your job to even justify acting modest.
[Ogami]
... y'know, I was kinda hoping that you would pull your punches when you become happy...
[Maria]
Oh, no, Captain. You will have to work much, much harder before I even BEGIN feeling any sort of goodwill towards my fellow man, i.e. you.
----
[Maria]
But that novice of a Captain, Ensign Ogami... risked his life to save me, didn't he.
[Ogami]
W-Well, I was very desperate at the time...
It would have been embarrassing enough to be defeated by something as bad as the Hive of Darkness. But to actually lose a squad member? He'd never have been able to go out in public ever again.
[Maria]
Captain... honestly, thank you very much.
[Ogami]
No... well, anyway, it's New Year's Day. We're just going to have to enjoy ourselves.
[Maria]
Hmhm, that's right. Let's do so.
Yes! Arrival!
[Ogami]
Well, it IS New Year's Day...
[Ogami]
..........?
[Ogami]
Well, it's fine if you just get used to it little by little.
----
[Maria]
I hope that it will not take too long for me to stop seeing all these massed civilians as threats or as potential targets.
[Ogami]
... o-on second thought, maybe we should start getting you acclimated as fast as humanly possible.
[Maria]
Okay, Captain. Are there any--
[Ogami]
No, Maria, there are no guns at a shrine.
[Maria]
Oh. ... well, we're done here, then.
[Ogami]
W-Wait!!
----
[Ogami]
Also... people start having fun just by gathering in such an atmosphere.
----
That said, they start the process of actually getting down to the business of having fun.
Also, ignore the inexplicable feet.
Welp, it's a shrine. There's the sound of coins being thrown into the offering box and bells being rung.
And then, it's prayer time.
[Ogami]
(Now then... what should I pray for?)
[Ogami]
(May these peaceful days continue...)
... well, what else CAN he pray for? Love blossoms and fades, but each peaceful day is one less day surrounded by psychopathic women in power-boosting armor suits.
[Ogami]
..........
[Ogami]
Yeah, that's true. By the way... what did you pray for, Maria?
[Ogami]
Hahaha... You haven't changed a bit, Maria. But was that really all you prayed for?
----
[Ogami]
M-Maria? This is where you brush me off with a laugh, not start making doe eyes at me.
----
----
----
----
[Ogami]
Maria...
Too much effort, in other words.
Besides, there will very likely be many more times when Maria will have to rage at Ogami, so why not bottle up that anger for a much better time?
[Ogami]
Awri~ght, what should we go do? Candy-cutting? Ring tossing!? Or we could go get candied apples!
[Maria]
If that's the case... how about target practice? I'll teach you how to handle a gun.
[Ogami]
Oh, it's on now. Right, it's a duel!!
----
[Ogami]
... y'know, I kinda thought that you were kidding, Maria. I totally forgot that these stalls were here. How'd you know...?
[Maria]
I have a knack for these things, Captain.
----
[Maria]
... I am not doing so well. Is the pistol's barrel warped? This would have been so much easier with my Enfield.
[Ogami]
Hahahahaha... target practice and live marksmanship are different.
The trick is to aim slightly above the prizes so you can hit the balloons attached to them more easily.
[Maria]
Slightly above them, is it...
POP!
[Maria]
Whew... it's not working. I'm sorry, Captain, but please show me how to do it.
----
[Ogami]
Well, I--
[Maria]
You know perfectly well what I am talking about, Captain. Keep in mind that these corks can still put out an eye and that I am standing right next to you.
----
[Ogami]
Hmhmhm... no problem. I'll be aiming for the panda figurine, so watch closely.
[Maria]
Yes. Please do!
[Ogami]
(First... aim slightly above the prize...)
[Ogami]
... there!
(Maybe I aimed a little too high... it's going to be tough to hit the balloons.)
But of course, there were no problems.
[Ogami]
Right on!
[Maria]
That was magnificent!! As expected of the Captain of the Flower Division.
[Ogami]
Well... this is what happens when I get serious.
... here, Maria. You can have this panda figurine.
[Maria]
Thank you very much. This panda... I will treasure it for the rest of my life.
----
[Maria]
Now, Captain, please teach me how to unleash this figurine's hidden mystical power so that I may summon spirit bears on the battlefield.
[Ogami]
... you can't, Maria, it's just a panda figurine.
[Maria]
Oh. Well, I suppose that is one more aspect where Japan differs from Russia.
[Ogami]
I... I'm not even going to BOTHER asking, Maria.
----
[Maria]
Now then... I'll try this, too. Thanks to you, Captain, I understand the trick behind it now.
POP POP POP.
[Maria]
... why can't I hit anything? I am most definitely not doing anything wrong, at least in theory...
[Ogami]
Here... extend your arm a bit more. If you don't get as close to the target as possible, you won't be able to hit anything well.
I'll support your arm so that you can aim better, Maria.
And so he does.
Hurr, hurr, hurr.
[Maria]
O-Okay... but...
[Ogami]
Now, relax your shoulders. It'll be fine if you just do what you always do, Maria.
[Maria]
U-Um... Captain, your breath is, down the back of my neck... and...
[Ogami]
Ah...
Just as planned. More importantly, there's only one thing to do, and that's the SMART--
... thing?
[Ogami]
Maria, aim steadily now. Okay?
[Maria]
O-Okay...
[Maria]
..........
[Ogami]
(Kh...)
[Maria]
Wind direction, south-southwest... soft wind. Barrel slippage... two degrees to the right...
[Ogami]
(I-I can't... Maria... hurry up...)
[Maria]
There!
POP.
[Maria]
Captain, I did it! Were you watching? Did you see that!?
[Ogami]
..........
[Ogami]
Pwahaaa~! Gasp, pant... g-great job... Maria.
[Maria]
Captain... don't tell me that you held your breath for me?
[Ogami]
Yeah... you DID say that it was making you anxious.
----
[Maria]
I... there's a warm and fuzzy feeling welling up within my heart, Captain.
[Ogami]
Oh? Could it be... affection?
[Maria]
No, I think it's... it's that heady feeling of power you get when you realize just how much power over one man you have at your disposal.
[Ogami]
... what.
[Maria]
If you ever make me so angry that I cannot see straight, then I can simply request that you stop breathing, and... hmhm...
[Ogami]
... Maria? -- Maria, stay with me, Maria!! What's wrong!?
[Maria]
... hmhmhmhm...
BAD END.
----
[Ogami]
Now then... let's get going, shall we?
----
[Ogami]
Eh...? Is that alright? It was the prize that you finally managed to win, Maria.
[Maria]
I... want you to have it, Captain. Would it be a bother?
[Ogami]
No, it won't... thank you. I'll take good care of it.
[Maria]
Heheh... with this, they're a matching pair, aren't they? The pandas.
Take good care of it, please. Promise.
[Ogami]
Um, Maria...
[Ogami]
May this next year... be a good year as well.
----
THE END
[Ogami]
Yeah, that's true. This breeze feels so comfortable... it's really a good New Year's Day, isn't it.
... wait. Wait. No, she couldn't be--
[Ogami]
Eh... not particularly?
[Maria]
If that is the case... would you like to stroll down to Yokohama?
Oh.
I was about to say, I didn't think that either Maria or the game itself would be so... y'know, straightforward.
[Ogami]
Actually, I think so, too...
[???s]
Daaaaaaaaaah!
WHUMPF.
----
That, dear Ogami, is the sound of a romance turning into a romantic comedy.
[Maria]
... e-everyone! What were you doing in a place like THAT!?
[Sakura]
U-Um... it's kind of a long story, but...
[Kanna]
Heheheh... well, it can't be helped if we've been found out! You see, we were followin' you guys!!
[Sumire]
Oh~hohohoho!! We simply could not allow the two of you to have fun all by yourselves!
[Kohran]
H... How 'bout it, ain't th' both of ya surprised!? An', well... right from th' start, I immediately calculated that things'd turn out like this!!
[Iris]
Ya~ay! We're all visiting the shrine on New Year's Day~!! Iris is having so much fun~!
[Sakura]
Ogami-san... this is how it's turned out, so please give up.
[Ogami]
Sakura-kun... not you too...
[Sakura]
I... I'm sorry. I did my best to stop them, but I lost against everyone's might...
[Maria]
It's no use. If this is how it's going to be...
[Ogami]
M-Maria... hold up a bit, just calm down!
----
----
[Iris]
Yeah~!
----
[Ogami]
Oh thank GOD, Maria, you calmed down.
[Maria]
Of course. I am thinking rationally.
[Maria]
This way, they won't suspect a thing, so I will be able to sneak up behind them and start executing them with well-placed shots to the back of their heads.
[Ogami]
... um.
[Maria]
They will not see it coming.
[Ogami]
I'm sure they won't, Maria, but--
[Maria]
They will not see it coming.
[Ogami]
... yes'm.
----
[Ogami]
Tohoho... And we'd only just gotten some time alone, after all this trouble...
[Ogami]
... what's wrong, Maria?
[Maria]
This feeling is...
----
[Ogami]
Oh god, they weren't hiding behind that tree listening to us talk, were they?
[Maria]
... not quite, Captain.
----
----
[???]
Hmhmhmhmhm...!
[Ogami]
What-- that voice!!
[Maria]
That voice is...
----
----
Well, who didn't see THIS one c-- Son of a bitch.
[Ogami]
You're...!
----
[Ogami]
... who the hell is he again?
[Kanna]
You remember, don't you, Captain? It's the girly man who ran away from that final fight.
[Maria]
Actually, I'm fairly certain that we just forgot to go back and kill him, too.
[Kohran]
Yeah, he's kind of a forgettable guy, ain't he?
[Satan]
...
----
[Satan]
My name is... Aoi Satan!!
[Ogami]
You Hive of Darkness bastards! You managed to survive!?
----
[Ogami]
And you hired a trio of clowns to strike fear into the heart of--
[Satan]
Shut up.
----
[Satan]
The Hive of Darkness...? How stupid.
That was as far as the likes of Tenkai could go, you see. After all, he was nothing but a Buddhist priest tamed by Tokugawa!
[Ogami]
What...!
[Satan]
I, Aoi Satan, am different, however! I have no use for mercy and the like!
[Satan]
The so-called peace that you long shall not last forever. Even your prayers will not reach heaven!
[Ogami]
What was that!?
----
[Kanna]
... man, Ogami, you've got to step up the pace here, the pace of the conversation's really leaving you behind.
[Ogami]
Look, if I don't let him have his evil speech, he'll probably bitch about it for however many months it'll take to actually defeat him.
----
[Satan]
I shall destroy the very roots of the Imperial Capital and plunge you humans into the very depths of terror!
[Ogami]
What are your objectives!?
[Satan]
My objectives? Hmhmhmhmhmhm...
[Satan]
I simply hate the expressions of happiness on all you humans' faces!
Watching all of you cry in pain and terror makes me so happy that I can hardly bear it!
----
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... you've been sitting in a hole for three months in order to work on a dramatic entrance, a dramatic speech, and the perfect chance to blindside us during our time of peace, and that was the best you could come up with?
[Satan]
Yes!
[Ogami]
You are a goddamned IDIOT.
[Maria]
For once, Captain, I do not think that you could have phrased that any more effectively. Who in their right mind would get caught up in this sort of banter? I--
----
[Sakura]
For that... I will never forgive you!
[Sakura]
What!?
----
[Maria]
... Sakura, please don't get caught up in his banter, it's reflecting poorly on all of us.
[Ogami]
... my god, this is, hands-down, the worst heroes/villains conversation that I've heard in my entire life.
[Sumire]
What is truly depressing is that despite this dramatic plot twist, he will bring out the usual hordes of Wakiji and expect to win.
[Iris]
Hey, hey, I'll bet anyone a buck that the mid-bosses will leave us to fight the cannon fodder!
[Kohran]
Ain't NOBODY takin' you up on THAT bet.
----
[Satan]
Hmhmhmhm... come forth! You monstrous apparations that were painstaklingly restrained underneath the Imperial Capital!
[Satan]
I, and I alone, am the liberator of demons! Come forth! Kouma!!
----
----
What monster-summoning ritual is complete...
...without a full-throated ROAR to cap it off?
Of course, the downside to this particular situation is that we don't have any Koubu.
[Maria]
This is...!?
[Kouma]
Gigi... gigigigi...!
[Kohran]
Wh-What ARE these things!?
[Sakura]
Everyone! Be careful!
[Ogami]
(At this rate, we're only going to get defeated. At the very least, if everyone else can be...)
[Kouma]
Gigi... gigigigi...!
[Ayame]
It appears that we've managed to make it in time!
[Ogami]
Ayame-san!
[Kohran]
It's th' Shogeimaru! We're saved!!
[Kanna]
Awriiight! We're gonna pulverize them!!
----
[Ogami]
Wait, how'd you guys know that this was going to happen?
[Ayame]
Call it intuition.
[Ogami]
If you guys knew that this was going to happen, couldn't you have at least given us a "today's weather will be DEMONS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE"!?
[Ayame]
...
[Ogami]
... er, I mean, couldn't you have at least given us a "today's weather will be demons all over the fucking place," ma'am?
[Ayame]
That's better. Also, no, this way is honestly much more fun.
[Ogami]
Goddamn it, ma'am.
----
[Ogami]
Okay...
[Ogami]
Maria, let's go! These enemies look tough, but if it's us, we'll be just fine!
[Maria]
Understood!
----
[Ogami]
Maria! With the power of love... we can't lose!
[Maria]
Understood!
[Kanna]
H-Hey. Captain? What about us?
[Ogami]
...
[Maria]
...
[Ogami]
Maria~!
[Maria]
Captain~!
[Kohran]
Oh jeez. Jes' leave 'em, I think they're in a world of their own now.
----
Now then, ladies and gentlemen. You DO know what time it is, right?
NEXT TIME: It's time for STEAM-POWERED ROBOTS.
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