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... that chair looks like the most uncomfortable thing ever devised by man/demonkind.
Granted, it might also be due to the guy sitting on it. Where the christ are his arms or his legs? Hell, does he even have an arse to sit on?
Fucked up demons. D:
(why must these groups have such hard-to-translate evil names?)
"Crimson Miroku... has now arrived."
"Pale-Blue Setsuna... has now arrived!"
wha-
Waitatic, could it be?
"Silver-White Rasetsu!!"
....... yes. Yes, he IS in fact wielding a demon-driven steam-powered chainsaw.
A goddamn demon-driven steam-powered chainsaw. 
"Black Satan."
"We, the Hive of Darkness's Death Emperors, have gathered to carry out the will of Lord Tenkai!!"
WHOOSH, DRAMATIC FLAMES IN THE BACKGROUND FOR THE PURPOSE OF DRAMA AND EVIL
.....
(one new Hive of Darkness base later.... )
----
[Tenkai]
Satan, Setsuna, Rasetsu, go take a break. Miroku, twenty jumping jacks.
----
[Tenkai]
You fools! What was that sorry debacle?!
[Setsuna]
Yes... a mysterious brigade by the name of the Imperial Assault Force interfered with our plans...
[Tenkai]
Worthless excuses!
Well, at least Tenkai wasn't behind last battle's whole "lol let's NOT crush the Imperial Assault Force while they're still weak" thing.
----
[Tenkai]
We have perfected the means to tear down the Imperial Capital's steadfast spiritual barrier! The 'Roku-Hassei Kouma-Jin'!
Literally the "Six Destructive Stars Fallen Demon Formation."
----
[Setsuna]
What the hell is the 'Six Destructive Stars Fallen D-'... wait, are you talking about Plan Six?
[Tenkai]
Why yes. Yes I am.
[Setsuna]
Then why don't you just call it tha-
[Tenkai]
Shut up, I'M the one in charge here, I am completely in my right to give MY plans dramatic, vague, and forboding names!!
Now, I am off to execute the forbidden demonic spell, the 'Galaxy Lord Fallen Demon Waterfall'!!
[Setsuna]
'Galaxy Lord Fa-' ... my lord, if you're simply going to the lantrines-
[Tenkai]
STOP GIVING AWAY MY PLANS!!
----
... but anyway, isn't he at least going to SACK them for being morons and fucking up such an easy battle, though? Granted, it's probably difficult enough to find good hired help as it is.
[Tenkai]
Complete this dark spell and bring about the utter destruction of the Imperial Capital! The first target shall be Shiba Park!
[Miroku]
Yes!!
... wait, if SHIBA Park is target number one, then what was the point of going to Ueno Park? Joyriding?
Oh, SHIT, the final boss HIMSELF is going out for a spin?!
Welp, t'was nice knowing you, Imperial Assault Force.
[Tenkai]
Don't you? Satan.
----
Dissension amongst the ranks of evil? Hot damn, lucky break.
Episode Two: The Enemey's Name is the Hive of Darkness
Just in case there was ANY CONFUSION WHATSOEVER as to the name of the evil demonic group.
... I'm looking at you, Ichiro "HOW DO I SHOT SECRET BRIGADE" Ogami.
----
OPTIONAL VIDEO:
Previous scene + voices and cutscene.
----
Yup, that's all he really needs to do to prepare for the ticket-clipping job.
...
CAN IT BE CUTTAN TIEM NOW PLAES?
[Ogami]
But... I guess I've completely gotten used to being a ticket-taker, huh.
-----
[Ogami]
Hahaha, well, it's not like I give a crap anyway, 'cause I got me a mecha. As far as I'm concerned, life is PERFECT.
-----
-----
[Ogami]
Oh, right, I forgot! Iris! Ahahahaha....
[Ogami]
Fuck.
-----
Fun Fact: You can blame LittleKuriboh's 'Abridged Yu-Gi-Oh Series' as being the reason I don't just translate 'Oniichan' as 'Big Brother'. Whenever I read 'Big Brother', I immediately hear
Biiiig broooootheeeer!!
-- THIS sunnovabitch's vaguely whiny pronunciation. 
[Ogami]
Hey, Iris. What's up?
----
[Iris]
THE CEILING!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
[Ogami]
Aha... haha... haHAha... gephrghbl...
[Iris]
Oh, Oniichan, you shouldn't be bleeding from the mouth YET, Iris is just getting started!!
[Ogami]
... please... just k... kill... me....
----
[Ogami]
Kohran? Who might that be?
[Iris]
Um, she's one of the members of the Flower Division.
You know, Kohran... she used to be here, but only for a little while.
[Ogami]
Heh... another member of the Flower Division, huh...
That's... yeah, that's horrifically frightening encouraging.
[Ogami]
..... 'kabo~om'? This 'Kohran' person...
[Ogami]
I guess she sounds like an interesting person. Though I don't quite understand what you mean.
[Iris]
She always says that 'explosions are my way of laughing~!'.
EVERYTIME KOHRAN LAUGHS, A CHILD'S HEAD EXPLODES.
[Ogami]
Hahahahahaha! She really DOES sound like an amusing person. I want to hurry up and meet her.
You're just laughing because you want to see people explode.
YOU TOO, YOU LITTLE MONSTER
[Iris]
She made a promise to let me ride her steam-powered bike this time!
[Ogami]
Heh... it sounds like you get along well. Think I'll be able to become good friends with her as well?
Thousands of exclamation points have died to bring you this update.
----
----
[Ogami]
Seeya Iris, break a neck leg!
----
----
VRRRM VRRRM VRRRRRRRRRRRRM
Well, speak of the legs devil, there she i-
-SMAAAAAAASH!!-
...
Ri Kohran
1906-1923
Has departed this world and ascended to the Great Explosion in the sky.
----
More importantly, isn't there a bloody dead corpse on the theater's doorstep?!
----
[Ogami]
God, why'd this have to happen on MY shift? Okay, calm down, it's not OUR responsibility if the body's "accidentally" thrown into the river and lost foreve-
----
[Ogami]
Y... yes?
... it looks like her bike spontaneously exploded for no discernable reason whatsoever threw her purty far, and there's not even a scratch ON her. How ISN'T she injured? She's not even wearing a helmet, for pete's sake!
[Ogami]
Ah... um....
Going with the answer that won't get Ogami caught up in a whirlwind of righteous NERD RAGE.
[Ogami]
... are you okay? Um... by the way, who might you be?
As you can probably guess, she's the fifth pilot of the Flower Division- Li Kohran, techie extraordinaire (who looks good with a pair of glasses and a Chinese dress).
Kohran's fairly awesome, but you may or may not discover this for yourselves in subsequent updates.
[Kohran]
From here on out, I'll be stayin' here. Good to meetcha!
She's also got a fairly strong Kansai(?) accent. Japanese regional accents appear to have been the bane of translators and localizers in the US for years on end because it seems that no one can agree on HOW to represent them in the English language. The dub of Evangelion ignored Touji's thick accent, Azumanga Daioh went with a New Yorker accent, and I think the Excel Saga manga dipped into the vast base of British accents for some of the less commonly represented Japanese accents...
The most common representation of the Kansai accent seems to be a southern twang, which I'll be doing my best to horribly butcher in written form.
[Ogami]
Imperial Navy Ensign, Ichiro Ogami.
I'm the Imperial Assault Force's... well, captain-in-training or something like that.
The 'or something like that' probably refers to his status as ticket-taker, boy-toy, he-who-is-stalked, the theater's errand boy...
[Kohran]
Li Kohran reporting in, now transferred from the Flower Mansion branch to the main base in Ginza!
Please direct me to Sir Lieutenant General Yoneda!
Isn't... isn't this part of your work anyway? YOU WILL ESCORT HER AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.
Damn straight.
[Ogami]
In that case, allow me to show you the way. Please follow me.
[Ogami]
Ah, but your bike...
[Kohran]
I'll get it all cleaned up in a jiffy!
----
OPTIONAL VIDEO
Meet Kohran. Yay, voices!
----
That said, they enter the theater. TO HOPEFULLY BE CONTINUED TOMORROW THIS MAN LIES. ANOTHER TOMORROW
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