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VIDEO ALERT!
Prelude to the battle.
Google Version!
"... by some cruel trick of fate, however, [Shiba Park] once again found itself under siege by the Hive of Darkness before city planners could go ahead with their plan to reinforce each and every food stall with sirius steel, which would have made them more than capable of warding off demonic assault.
"At the time, no one was quite able to figure out why Archbishop Tenkai kept attacking Shiba Park. Military strategists pored over their notes for any possible leads, some even going so far as to call into local religious institutions and question shrine maidens and temple monks about any possible paranormal activity; as a result, certain festivals were postponed, bringing ruin to many a citizen's schedule. Meanwhile, the ever-fertile rumor mill helped circulate the misconception that Shiba Park was under some sort of curse, making it a popular site of visitation for thrill-seekers and sellers of pastries and cookies shaped like demon-driven mechanical soldiers (though the latter came to a halt after Tenkai himself attempted to lay claim to a portion of the proceeds).
"Amidst all this confusion, the spotlight was, for once, NOT on the Imperial Assault Force and its efforts to repel the demonic invaders from where they had wormed their way into the very depths of Japan's admittedly sparse bosom*. This was just as well, for the government was able to keep the matter of the enemy's oddly-increasing strength under wraps.
"This bought the Imperial Assault Force some time, then, to figure out just what Tenkai was planning to do... though they had no way of knowing that the madman was more cunning than they could ever have imagined.
"He was, admittedly, still an idiot, but a very cunning one indeed."
- Excerpt from the 1977 edition of "Samurai Spirits: The History of the Flower Division," written by M. Sunnyside.
*Michael's opinion in no way represents that of the editor, the N.Y.F.T., or an application of any sort of common sense.
- L. Altair.
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TAISHO ERA, 12th YEAR: AUGUST
SHIBA PARK
[Tenkai]
... Wakiji! Obey my commands, and destroy to the very limits of destruction!!
Purify this sullied, impure capital through destruction! Now, go forth!
If you sped up the footage a little bit, you could pretty much insert the Benny Hill theme song here. Watch as the Wakiji and the citizens engage in a zany, madcap chase!
BENCH! NOOOOOOO--
----
Oh, okay, so he was clearing it to make way for his shooting. That's cool too.
He'll just, y'know, keep taking potshots at and completely failing to hit the buildings.
But lo and behold, it's the shadow of...
The amazing flying SHOGEIMARU!
And the amazing plummeting Flower Division!
And while the various pilots argued amongst themselves about the potential reasons WHY they're all falling at different speeds despite being in Koubu that weigh almost exactly the same (except for the currently incorporeal Iris, who weighs both nothing and infinity simultaneously)...
-- an argument that was quickly resolved by Kanna plummeting past them like a big heavy musclebound rock--
Kohran
has
bigger fish
to fry.
And for one brief, Amano Circus-filled moment...
The Wakiji became an action hero.
Even before the smoke clears-- please don't ask how they managed to land at where Kohran was shooting at-- ROBOT ROLL CALL!
Ogami! ("I kinda wish that all this smoke wasn't asphyxiating me!")
Sakura! ("I'M SURROUNDED BY RAPISTS!")
Sumire! ("Am I not the most popular person in this brigade? Why on Earth am I the heel this chapter!?")
Maria! ("Tsubaki, please close your comm channel and stop looking at me in such a lewd fashion, it is very distracting.")
Kanna! ("Violence! I APPROVE.")
Iris! ("C'mere, this won't hurt a bit~!")
----
"ARM THE CANNONS!"
"ARM THE OTHER CANNONS!"
KOHRAN~! ("YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH CANNONS!!")
[Everyone]
The Imperial Assault Force has arrived!
To which the Hive of Darkness responded "Yeah, don't mind us, we're just chillin'."
[Tenkai]
To pray for the fulfillment of my ambitions, I shall decorate the Imperial Capital with your corpses!
----
[Maria]
I would advise against that. For one, it doesn't sound particularly hygienic.
[Tenkai]
Sure it is! It's good Feng Shui. And I dare you to point out exactly what part of Feng Shui bans the use of fresh human cadavers as decorative pieces!
[Maria]
Might I refer you to the part where I jam my pistol up your nose and empty the contents of your head with a series of bullets?
[Tenkai]
... that's not good Feng Shui, you damn foreign ninny.
[Ogami]
Can't we leave ancient Chinese practices out of our usual machismo-filled back-and-forth banter?
----
HER FIST, IT'S A-SHAKIN' WITH RIGHTEOUS ANGER.
[Kohran]
Please, everyone! Stop all these children from' doin' any more evil!!
[Kohran]
I really don't want t' destroy' 'em, but... we don't have any other choice, if we want t' save these children...
[Everyone]
Understood!
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