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Now that Kanna and Sumire have been dealt with, in a manner of speaking, all that's left for Ogami to do is to while away the remaining fifteen minutes before the meeting begins.
He could always just be punctual and arrive at the meeting a little bit early, but seriously, there's no fun in THAT.
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[Ogami]
That was kind of the assumption that I'd walked away with, yeah.
[Kasumi]
Besides the one that I'd allowed you to pick, I mean.
[Ogami]
Ah, come on, it couldn't possibly be THAT bad. These things take time, and--
[Ogami]
... did that flower just wink at me?
[Kasumi][Plant]
No, I don't believe that it--
[Kasumi]
Oh, I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
[Plant]
Please, there's no need to apologize. I believe that I was the one at fault, in any case.
[Ogami]
.....
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[Ogami]
I, it's alright. They'll surely end up blooming into lovely flowers.
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[Flower]
Awf'lly kind of you to say so, guv.
[Ogami]
ShutupshutupshutUP, flowers can't talk.
[Flower]
Oh, so flowers should be seen, but not heard? That's vegatism if I've ever heard it, I GLUBBLEURGLEBLUBBLE--
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[Kasumi]
Ogami-san, if you have the time, might you be able to water the Cosmos?
[Ogami]
Sure.
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[Ogami]
In fact, I'm already on it!
[Flower]
-- gurglebluarghlearlbhel--
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[Kasumi]
In that case, there's a watering can over there, if you please.
[Ogami]
Gotcha...
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[Ogami]
Way ahead of you!
[Kasumi]
My, you're certainly enthusiastic about this, aren't you?
[Ogami]
Yes, there's nothing I enjoy more than dumping enough water onto flowers to SHUT THEM UP!
[Flower]
Gurgle.
[Ogami]
Oh you did NOT just give me the middle peduncle, you son-slash-daughter of a bitch.
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[Ogami]
Well, it's summer, so it'll probably be best to give them a little more water than usual.
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[Ogami]
Actually, let's make that a LOT more water than usual. Bottoms up!
[Flower]
GHARGLLIBLE!
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[Ogami]
Considera-- oh, yes! Certainly. That's true.
[Ogami]
... actually, I've always been pretty good with flowers. This kind of a thing's a piece of cake for me.
[Kasumi]
Really? You grew flowers back home?
[Ogami]
Quite a few, actually, and all at once. I was pretty good at keeping more than thirteen different varieties of flower in the same tiny square of land.
[Ogami]
Somehow, it's just not nearly as much fun just raising one flower, you know what I mean? There's no thrill to it.
[Kasumi]
... I believe that I'm starting to understand, Ogami-san.
[Ogami]
'Course, it got dangerous as HELL after a while. There's nothing more frightening than twenty flowers competing for your attention-- they'd start crowding each other out, strangling each other with their stems, slashing at me with thorns and vine whips...
[Kasumi]
Botany imitates real life?
[Ogami]
... what are you talking about? I'm talking about flowers.
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[Kasumi]
I'm sure that the Cosmos will be happy at getting so much water.
[Ogami]
No, no, we did promise to raise these flowers together until they bloomed, after all.
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[Ogami]
... that was below the belt.
[Kasumi]
No, no, I didn't mean it like THAT! Your weirdo personality isn't NEARLY abrasive enough to make me want to start avoiding you YET.
[Ogami]
... that was supposed to REASSURE me?
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[Ogami]
Aah. Thanks for your hard work, Kasumi-kun.
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[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... goddamn it.
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[Ogami]
Maria, what's up?
[Maria]
I was simply... looking at the surface of the water...
[Ogami]
Hmmm...
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[Ogami]
(I really should try and strike up a reasonable, non-creepy, and non-confrontational conversation with Maria. I'm pretty sure that it'll score me some pretty big points if I can prove that I can speak like any other rational--)
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[Ogami]
By the way... what kind of swimsuit do you wear, Maria?
[Ogami]
No... as your Captain, this is something I should still be aware of...
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[Maria]
... WHY?
[Ogami]
Imagine, if you will, the following scenario: one of us is captured by a water-aligned demon who proceeds to drag said person into some creepy demonic base in the sea.
[Ogami]
Our Koubu are no good underwater, so we would have no choice but to suit up as quickly as possible, especially since we would very likely be on a time limit-- we wouldn't know how long we would have before the demons devour our captured teammate, or use her towards some other nefarious means.
[Ogami]
And as we cannot spare the time to go back to base to pick up our swimsuits, or to even stop by the nearest shop and purchase whichever articles of swimwear that may or may not be preferred by each individual member of the team!
[Ogami]
So in preparation for that type of situation, we would have to make certain of each person's preference, and store an extra swimsuit in each person's Koubu, just in case. This is admittedly a shot in the dark-- but it remains a completely possible situation nonetheless. I ask you once again, Maria.
[Ogami]
What kind of swimsuit do you wear?
[Maria]
... while I am forced to admit that that was quite possibly the most beautiful bout of bullshitting that I've ever witnessed in my life, my position remains unchanged.
[Ogami]
Well, you can't blame a man for trying.
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[Ogami]
In that case...
In situations such as these, taking a few seconds to let Ogami's head cool down...
... can be life-saving.
[Ogami]
Since you've got a good figure, Maria, wouldn't a bikini suit you well?
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[Ogami]
Oh come ON, I can't possibly be the first person of the male gender-- EVER-- to tell you that you've got a good figure.
[Maria]
That's true. However, you are the first person to tell me so whilst not in the process of begging for your life.
[Ogami]
Ah. Say no more.
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[Ogami]
I really think it'd suit you...
[Ogami]
Whew... I thought she was going to kill me. It's probably better if I don't say too many weird things.
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[Ogami]
... despite the fact that I appear to have a master's degree in "saying weird things at totally inopportune moments."
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[Ogami]
Well... I'm no longer in mortal danger, so I guess I should get going.
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[Kohran]
Wha-- Ogami-han! Come back! That's not what I meant!!
[Ogami]
You can take the virginity of my rear end, but you'll never take my freedom! I'LL NEVER--
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[Ogami]
Sure, but... what should I help you with?
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[Ogami]
K... Kohran? Weren't we just doing something else? And why does my head hurt so much?
[Kohran]
Don't worry yer pretty lil' head about it, Ogami-han! It's jes' me twistin' quantum's arm behind its back again.
[Ogami]
W-well, if you insist...
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[Kohran]
Today's performance's kinda destroyed th' set again, so I was jes' doin' some light repairs.
[Ogami]
Kohran...
[Kohran]
Right, right, couldja screw in that divider sittin' over there?
I ain't strong enough t' tighten that bolt. I kinda wanted t' leave that to ya.
[Ogami]
Aah, that's an easy task. Leave it to me.
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[Ogami]
Even though you're strong enough to strip my unconscious body and haul it up AND strap it to a vertical table.
[Kohran]
Th' difference 'tween then an' now is that that was for science, Ogami-han.
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[Kohran]
'Kay then.... I'm gonna go an' repair th' set over on the other side.
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Truly gripping action.
[Ogami]
Right, now... it should be fine if I screw this in normally. ... there.
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[Ogami]
Good GOD that was fast. How'd you finish that up so quickly!?
[Kohran]
Oh, it was a lost cause, so I jes' lit it on fire an' called it a day.
[Ogami]
... Kohran, don't you remember what Ayame-san told you about succumbing to your pyrotechnic tendencies?
[Kohran]
Yeah, yeah... "you light anything on fire again and I swear that I will personally tear out your fingernails using a blunt mallet and a trout." I'll go put out those fires.
[Ogami]
Just so long as you understa--
[Ogami]
Kohran, what the hell do you mean "fires," plural?
[Kohran]
Nothin' at all! Jes' a slip of the tongue. It's not like th' first floor seatin' area is a merrily-blazin' inferno or anythin' of the sort.
[Ogami]
PUT THEM OUT! NOW!!
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[Ogami]
Yup, I'm done. Is this fine?
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[Ogami]
Oh, yeah! I'm good at screwing things!
[Kohran]
... really now.
[Ogami]
That's right. I don't really want to brag, but I'm proficient at screwing things up, over, around, and even just IN. I-- Kohran, are you alright? You're kind of doubled over and clutching your stomach and--
[Kohran]
N-no, don't worry 'bout me, I'm jes' fine. Keep goin'.
[Ogami]
Right. Anyways, I'm working on jamming it i--
[i][Ogami]
... look, you don't need to laugh THAT hard, Kohran, I'm being totally serio-- what? Fine, fine, I'll get you a freaking kleenex, just stop snorting and laughing so hard that you're crying and all that. Jerk.
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[Ogami]
If this is all you need, then you can just call on me anytime.
[Kohran]
If this much's already done, then we'll be able t' put on tomorrow's play with a set that's as good as new!
Right... th' emergency repairs're outta th' way, so I'll be headin' down t' the command room.
[Ogami]
Aah, I'll go after checking up on everyone for a little bit more. See you in a bit.
Of course, the clock chooses this particular time to start chiming and gonging away.
NEXT TIME: Mission briefing. Everyone's fucked.
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